Hinder
by bearhuggemm
Summary: It was only supposed to be one night-a drunken mistake that they'd both forget about. They were supposed to go back to being best friends. But now all they can do is think about that night and one another. The more they try and avoid it, the more intense their feelings get.
1. Intro

Please read the disclaimer once and then I promise not to put it at the beginning of every chapter.

_Disclaimer:_ _All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise._ _No copyright infringement is intended._

**Prologue**

"You got me up against the wall

You keep pushing me back

And everything you do

You know I like it like that,

Were up against the wall."

-'Up Against the Wall' by Tino Coury

Bella felt feel the stiff, cold wall press against her back as she was slammed up against it. Jacob reached down to grab her hands and held them captive above her head as he guided his lips to her ear. He knows it drives her crazy when he plays a little rough.

When his hot lips made contact with her ear, a trembling shiver ran down her spine. His tongue darted out slightly and grazed the sensitive skin at the nape of her neck, successfully setting every nerve ending in her body on fire.

Jacob must have been born with the innate ability to please girls, or at least just Bella. He knows exactly where to touch her, what to say, and how to shift their bodies so that by the end they're both screaming. His soul purpose is to get a response from her and he has never failed.

It was still dark around them. No one had figured out where they had slipped away to and Jacob was going to take advantage of every second they had alone.

He trailed his lips up and down Bella's neck, placing sensual and open-mouthed kisses there. He nibbled on her collarbone and sucked the delicate skin behind her ear, eliciting a trembling moan from her.

She managed to catch her breath. "We can't do this." Her words were forced; She was struggling to say anything at all.

"Here? Or at all?" He asked, not disconnecting his lips from her neck.

_That's a good question. How do I convince myself to give up something that feels so good, so right, simply because other people wouldn't approve? Why stop just because I'd be embarrassed, to no end, if someone caught us here?_ Bella thought to herself.

"Both." She answered.

"Really?" He asked, a smile playing on his lips. He pushed her harder against the wall until they were flesh up against each other, and glided his leg between her legs so that it rubbed up against her center in a cruel, teasing way. From their close proximity, she could feel his very obvious arousal through his jeans, daring her to do something about it. With a light thrust, he managed to push his bulge against her center and cause her to moan loudly and uncontrollably. "It doesn't seem like you want me to stop."

Bella grunted. "I don't," she responded, pulling his face up from her neck so that she could look him in the eye. His hands let hers go and came to rest on her hips as she pulled him in for a long and intense kiss. With each movement of their lips, Jacob responded by pulling Bella into him and grinding against her. She wound her fingers up around his neck and into his hair. Her fingers tugged at the small hairs on the back of his neck and scratched his scalp roughly as he continued to rub himself against her center. "But that doesn't mean we should be doing this, _here_ of all places." She whispered.

His eyes were closed now, lips parted, waiting for her to close the distance between them again. She did, gently sliding her tongue into his mouth and exploring it.

"Bells," he grunted, breathing heavily, his voice labored.

She smiled to herself. _If he insists on pulling me into the nearest room to tease me, it's only fair that I get a little payback._ Running her hand down his chest—closer to where he really wanted it—distracted him well enough. When her fingers reached the waistband on his jeans she gave it a little tug towards her. Kissing him once, quickly on the mouth, she slipped out from under him.

She turned the corner and went back to the party. Jacob fell into the wall, suffering a bad case of blue balls. He braced his arm on the wall above his head and tucked his head under it. He chuckled to himself, wondering why he still insists on chasing her.

It's simple really. You never forget your first.

When the bulge in his pants had dissipated to an acceptable size, he left the room and returned to the party.


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

"Be my biggest fan,

Scream as loud as you can,

Cause you know it's just a one night stand."

-'One Night Stand' by Hinder

_Three months earlie_r...

I tip toed to the bathroom, clutching a wrinkled towel to my chest. I was still clad in the big t-shirt I had put on when I'd woken up. I admit it hadn't been easy to sneak out from under the covers without waking him but I had managed. I'd woken to his strong arms curled around my waist and his face nestled in the crook of my neck. I am so glad that he's a heavy sleeper, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to slide away from him unnoticed.

I made my way across the hallway and let myself into the small tiled bathroom. It was still early, but later than I had hoped. I'd spent the night-a big mistake-and now I needed watch the clock. My phone read 7:30 which meant Charlie was most likely already awake and wondering why my bed hadn't been slept in last night.

I clutched my phone tightly until I was safely locked behind the bathroom door. I dialed my home phone number and waited three rings before Charlie answered.

I kept my voice low. "Hey dad." I said the second he picked up. Lucky for me, he sounded more relieved than angry.

"Bella, thank goodness, I was starting to worry."

"I'm sorry. Jake and I stayed up late last night watching movies and I guess I fell asleep." _Lie._

"Oh. I suppose that's alright," Charlie's affinity for Jake was tremendous. "As long as he slept on the couch..." I could hear the suspicion in his voice. Even though he not-so-secretly wished I would end up with Jake, he still wouldn't allow the two of us to sleep in the same room.

"Of course." _Lie._

"Well, just don't make a habit of it, okay Bells?"

"I won't dad. I really should have called. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"I trust you." _You shouldn't_ "I know Jake is capable of taking care of things," _He sure is..._ "I'd just like to get a note or a phone call. Give me a heads up next time."

_Next time?_

"Sure, no problem."

"At least have Jake or Billy give me a call if they know you're staying over."

"Alright, but I don't think it will happen again."

"Whatever you say." Charlie sounded like he was appeasing me. "I'll talk to you later Bells. I've got to get into the station."

"Bye dad."

I dropped my phone to the floor and stripped quickly letting Jacob's over-sized shirt drop to the floor. Everything around me smelled like him; the shirt, the shower…me.

The bathroom filled with steam as the scalding water poured from the showerhead in heavy streams. I dunked my head under the water, letting it run down my back to sooth my aching muscles. The heat felt amazing.

Jake had proven to me just how good heat could feel, last night. The hot water didn't even compare to having his scorching body pressed up against mine, moving in ways I had only dreamed of.

Once I had relaxed enough I got down to business. I scrubbed every inch of skin I could reach, making sure I smelled more like soap and less like Jacob's sheets. Still, I couldn't manage to rid myself of the pine and woodsy musk that wafted off of Jacob's body in waves. It was bound to stick to me sooner or later. But really, now was not the time I needed to be surrounded in his scent.

The shower was quick; five minutes tops. I eased myself out, not really wanting to leave the warmth, but I knew I had to. He'd be waking up soon if he hadn't already. I made sure not to place my feet on the tile. Water had sloshed out from the shower and it made the tile floor slippery and dangerous for someone like me. The last thing I wanted was to slip in the bathroom and break my neck.

Moving quickly, I wrapped the towel around my body and exited the bathroom. I had to cross the hallway quickly, in case anyone was awake and moving around the house. I prayed that Billy hadn't come home sometime in the night. Who knows what he could have heard. And the pack was known for showing up unannounced. I couldn't risk any of them seeing me like this...

I hadn't brought clothes with me into the bathroom, which was stupid on my part, but the problem was that I couldn't find them. If we hadn't been in such a hurry last night—to get naked—my clothes wouldn't be strewn about. Then I could have left right after my shower, without having to confront him.

I hadn't thought that plan out well enough.

_It's better this way. If he's awake, which he probably was, I can say what I need to say to him._

I braced myself for the conversation to come. Part of me wanted to skip this part, but that was the irresponsible Bella talking-the same Bella that had called _all_ the shots last night.

_One, two, three…_

I eased forward, grabbing the door handle to the bedroom and pushing it open. I took a careful and quiet step into the room and ran straight into a burning wall of muscle.

_Shit!_

I felt his chest rumble. My eyes moved slowly up to his. He was laughing at me. _Did I say that out loud?_

"You're awake." I said timidly.

He took in my appearance, his eyes moving over my towel-clad figure. His eyes were onyx and piercing and his lips were slightly parted in the most irresistible way. My body temperature rose under his intense stare. He continued his once-over, taking his time to inspect every visible inch of me while I watched his eyes. They were glazing over.

In an instant, his hands were on my waist, yanking me further into his room, while he kicked the door shut behind us. In the same instant he positioned us so that my back was up against the door and Jacob was leaning in dangerously close.

"You took a shower." His voice was husky. A shiver ran up my spine as he ran a finger from my shoulder down to the crook of my arm, dragging it agonizingly slow in order to further tempt me. The callouses on his fingers, from hours of working in the garage, caused goosebumps to rise on my skin.

I nodded my head slowly, already feeling the effects of his gaze and his touch. He got impossibly closer and lowered his head to my neck. He placed a kiss there and then placed an open mouthed kiss in the junction between my neck and shoulders. I moaned so softly it was almost inaudible but I knew he could still hear it.

His mouth moved its way up my neck, kissing and nibbling all the way up to my ear. His left hand was still planted firmly on my waist, squeezing my hip and holding me up against the door. The heat from his body was seeping through the towel and tickling my belly.

When his lips reached the spot behind my ear, I whimpered. That was my weak spot. I felt his chest rumble with a laugh. Then he whispered, his voice much lower now, "And you're wet…"

I didn't miss the innuendo, and he was right. I _was_ wet, at first it was because of the shower and now it's because he is pressing his extremely hot body up against mine. My center began to ache and it was all because of him. He had so much control over my body that I became putty in his hands.

I ran my hands up his arms, around his neck and gripped the shaggy hair against his scalp. I scratched him there-a spot I knew was one of _his_ weak spots-and smirked when I heard him groan. My lips were at his ear now and I desperately wanted to tease him as much as he was teasing me.

"Soaking wet..." I dragged it out as much as I could, trying to sound as seductive as possible.

He whimpered painfully, his forehead falling onto my shoulder. His hot breath hit the cooling droplets of water and it made me shiver. His right hand left its place on my hip and slid down to the opening in my towel. I held my breath as his index and middle fingers slid between my bare folds and caressed me gently.

_Oh. My. God._

"Fuck, Bells." He grunted, "You really are wet." His voice almost sounded like he was in pain.

I blushed. I felt vulnerable there, in just a towel with Jacob's hands touching my naked body. But there wasn't a reason to be. Last night I'd been completely open with him, without a second thought. He made me feel safe and beautiful and warm from the inside out. I trusted him.

I wanted to feel like that again, warm and comfortable in my own skin. And only he could do that.

Jake continued his ministrations, kissing my shoulder as his fingers worked their magic. "Mmm Jake. That feels good. Don't stop."

He lifted his head and looked at me. His eyes were dark, nearly all black, and his lids were heavy. I had come to know that look very well over the last 24 hours. "Bella, I **need** you."

I brought my bottom lip between my teeth and bit down on it. He _needed_ me. It was pretty obvious how much my body needed him. I needed to feel—the heat and him.

I nodded my head slightly, giving him permission without saying a word.

Jacob didn't hesitate to give me what I wanted. In the next instant he was kissing me even more passionately than last night. His body pressed into mine, his knee pressing between my legs, heightening my need for him.

In a second, I was pushing off the wall and moving us back onto his bed, for the fifth time since we'd started.

We had fallen asleep. I tried to keep my eyes open but the combination of the heat and my lack of sleep last night forced my lids to betray me. Jacob's warm, smooth chest was too inviting not to curl up to. As soon as I placed my head on his chest, he let out a contended sigh and wrapped his large arms around me, pulling me in closer to his body. It was impossible not to fall asleep after that point.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

My cell phone on the dresser vibrated against the wood and jolted me from my sleep. I had been comfortable, dreaming without nightmares, when my phone went off. It took me a moment to realize where I was and what Jacob and I had been doing before we fell asleep.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

"Damn it! Give me a minute!" I whispered harshly in the direction of my phone. When I looked to my right, Jacob was sound asleep. I doubted that I would be able to slip out of his bed for a second time this morning without waking him but I was determined to try.

I eased one limb away from him at a time but when I had gotten one leg and one arm out from under him the phone buzzed again and Jacob's growled and rolled over. Now his face was down in the pillow and my body was no longer trapped beneath his limbs.

"Who the hell is calling you?" He asked, his voice grumbly from sleep and partially muffled from the pillow. I giggled when reluctantly he sat up. His hair was pointing in all directions, spikes of jet-black hair sticking out from his scalp like a porcupine. He definitely sported the best sex hair. "What?" He asked with a smirk on his face, the corners of his mouth pulling up to reveal a sliver of pearly white teeth underneath his lips.

"Nothing." I giggled again. _Why am I so giddy?_

_Oh, right….sex with Jacob._

"You're all sunshine and smiles this morning." He gave me a knowing smile and a quick peck on the lips.

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Jacob groaned, "Seriously Bells, answer it so we can go back to sleep." He plopped back onto his pillow and shut his eyes.

I have to admit that the thought of falling back into Jacob's arms and spending the rest of the day in bed was very, _very_ tempting. Still, I got up and grabbed my phone.

My heart sank when I read the caller ID.

**EDWARD**

"Fuck." I said under my breath. I didn't know what to do. I was literally frozen in place. None of my limbs were functioning. The only thing working was my heart, which kept pounding, but only because it hadn't picked up on the lack of oxygen in my lungs.

In my post-coital bliss I had completely erased Edward from my memory. When I had taken my shower this morning I was intent on leaving Jacob to go home and see Edward. My head had been clear and I had been thinking rationally. Then _things_ happened. Jacob got to me. He seduced me…or I seduced him (I'm still not quite clear on that part). Then we ended up back in bed and all thoughts of my loving boyfriend went out the window.

_He'll never forgive me._ I thought. Then the panic started to set in.

The phone stopped buzzing in my hand. I waited for a minute until it beeped to let me know that I had a voicemail.

"Bells?" Jacob called, still reclined on the bed.

I didn't say anything as I strode over to the bed and sat down with my back to him. "Edward called." I said, my voice monotonic.

I felt the mattress shift as Jacob sat up and put a hand on my shoulder. The simple gesture was sweet and comforting. "What did we do?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"I think you know what we did, Bells."

"Yes I know what we _did_ I just don't understand _why_. I don't even remember how this all started in the first place." I explained. It was true. My mind was a little fuzzy.

Jacob pulled my shoulders back so that I could lean against his chest. My phone was still locked in the vice grip between my fingers but the rest of my body relaxed when I felt him behind me.

"You called me crying after Edward had shut you down for the millionth time, so I told you to come over. You said you needed a way to forget about him for the night and I was eager to help you." He explained, his voice calm. "Of course I didn't think _you'd_ me the one to kiss _me_. "

I let out a deep breath. _Yes, now I remember._

"One thing led to another and soon enough we were going for a second and then third and fourth round. By then I'm sure you'd forgotten all about him…at least I hope so. That would be awkward if you were thinking about him while we were…you know…" His attempt to lighten the situation with a joke almost worked. Almost.

"I wasn't. Thinking about him I mean." I replied honestly. "There's no way I could think about anyone else while we were…doing stuff." I blushed at the juvenile way I spoke about what had conspired between us. I still couldn't bring myself to say what we had done out loud.

I could almost hear the smirk when Jacob spoke. "So you liked it? You weren't just pretending to boost my ego?"

"You really think I would have gone five rounds if I didn't like it." I turned around to look him in the eye, disbelief crossing my features. I was surprised at how little self-esteem he had for someone who seemed to exude confidence.

"I guess you're right. You were pretty loud." He nodded his head with a smile even bigger than the previous one.

I smacked him on the shoulder. The playfulness that I loved between us was still here, even though we had crossed a line as best friends.

I was about to reach out and kiss him again when my phone beeped a second time, reminding me of the impending voicemail I had yet to listen to.

Jacob's eyes went to my phone. "Are you going to listen to that?" He asked calmly, his eyes focusing on the name on the screen.

"I don't know. He's probably wondering where I am."

"And what are you going to say?"

I didn't know what I was going to tell Edward; definitely not the truth. "I'm not telling him anything. He doesn't need to know what happened between us. No one does."

I turned to look at Jacob, expecting to see anger in his eyes but instead I found the slightest bit of hurt. I could tell he was trying to put on a brave face and not give away his disappointment at me leaving.

"I'm sorry, Jake." I started, "I didn't think this was going to happen and—"

He stopped me. "Don't worry. I get it. You used me to get something that your bloodsucker wouldn't give you." As if he hadn't already said enough, he continued. "You used me for sex. And you enjoyed it, so that's a bonus. Plus I had fun."

"Jake…"

"Really Bells, it's fine. I knew you'd never leave him for me, no matter how good I am in bed." He wiggled his eyebrows, which made me roll my eyes at him. "I'm alright with being your fuck buddy."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that this wasn't going to be happening again. But considering how things could have gone—really badly—I was happy that he was taking this so well.

I nodded my head since I couldn't find anything to say to him. _What do you say to that?_ So I broke our eye contact and said "I need to find my clothes."

I craned my neck down to see my jeans in a crumpled pile on the floor.

I looked back at the phone in my hand and the annoying '**ONE NEW VOICEMAIL'** message flashing across the screen. I pushed the 'go' button and brought the phone up to my ear. My left hand came down to rest against the mattress in order to brace myself.

Edward's melodic voice came through the phone and I took a sharp intake of breath.

"_Bella, love. You must still be sleeping. I'm sorry for bothering you but I'm heading back from our hunting trip. I hate how we left things last night. I understand that there are things that you want from me that I can't give you. I've told you before that I think it is too dangerous for us to get too close. In time, Bella, I think I can overcome my fear of hurting you and maybe we can try again. I know how important it is to you that we have a physical aspect to our relationship as well. I promise that I am working on it."_ He paused to take a slow, deep breath—a very human gesture. _"I don't want you to be angry with me, Bella. Please know that everything I do is for your safety."_ Another pause. _"Anyway, I will be home shortly and would really like to see you. I know you have work but I'll stop by in a hour and see if you're awake. See you soon, love."_

The message ended and I set the phone down carefully. I took a deep breath and reached for my jeans.

"Okay, now I really have to go." I said, pulling my jeans over my ankles. I stood up from the bed, letting the sheets fall away from my body. With my back turned to him, I stood and jumped to get the denim up over my hips. Jake chuckled behind me.

Everything had felt so right last night, and even better this morning, but now things were getting complicated. Once again, I had gotten caught up in the moment and followed my hormonal driven teenage impulses instead of logic. I walked into Jacob's house hoping to take a break from reality and now I'm leaving short of two things: panties and my virginity.

"Where is my shirt?" I asked, suddenly panicked.

"Calm down, Bella. Everything will be fine."

"Easy for you to say. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I have to go home to my dad and..." I stopped myself. I promised Jacob when I got here that I wouldn't talk about _him_. I buttoned my jeans and put on my bra. I could hear Jacob shifting around on the bed behind me. "Seriously, where is my damn shirt?"

Jacob's voice was much closer when he spoke this time. "It's probably still out there somewhere. I'll go find it."

He got off the bed and left the room, having pulled on a pair of boxers before opening the door. I couldn't help but stare as he walked out of the room. The muscles in his back were tight and bulging. From the tips of his shoulders down past his shoulder blades were fading red scratches from where I had attempted to pull him closer to me in the final moments before I reached my breaking point.

He was back thirty seconds later with my shirt in his hand.

"Thanks." My fingers brushed up against his as I reached for my shirt. I slipped it over my head quickly and attempted to flatten some of the wrinkles to no avail.

"How do I look?" I asked timidly, looking up into my best friend's eyes. He stared at me with assurance.

"Amazing. As usual." His smile widened and my body instantly relaxed with the warmth and good vibes he was sending my way.

I faked a laugh. "Seriously. How do I look? I don't want to go home looking like I've been-"

"Having hot sex _all_ night? And for most of this morning?" He smirked.

"Exactly." I tried to control the blush I knew was covering every inch of my body, but I couldn't.

He laughed. "I hate to break it to you, but it's going to be obvious to anyone who has ever had sex before."

_Fuck_. _So much for keeping this a secret._

"Although, your bloodsucker still hasn't swiped his V-card so you should be okay." He joked, jabbing a finger into my side.

I shot him a warning glance but inside I relaxed slightly, hoping that he was right about Edward not being able to tell that I'd…slept with Jacob.

"It's just your dad you'll have to worry about. But Charlie loves me so I doubt he'd disapprove."

That statement made me really nervous. _Will Charlie be able to tell?_

He moved forward, catching my waist again. "You need another shower." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"I need to leave."

"No you don't." He pouted.

"Yes I do. If I stay any longer, we'll wind up in bed again."

"And that would be bad because...?"

"Because then I'll never leave."

"And?" He was so close now that we were exchanging breaths.

"And I...I...um..." I was concentrating on his lips now and lost for words. "I have to go. For real this time. I'm going. Now." I was saying the words, but my body wasn't moving. I was caught under his gaze and locked in his arms, yet I was the only one holding myself there.

He raised an eyebrow, noticing that I wasn't moving.

"Ok. I'm really going."

"Sure you are." He nodded, smiling at me. It was impossible not to smile back.

I finally pulled myself out of his grasp and turned for the door.

"Not so fast." He grabbed my arm and swung me back around into his arms, his hands cupping my cheeks. His lips captured mine in a powerful, knee buckling kiss. His fingers were tangled in my hair as his mouth dominated mine. I broke away briefly for oxygen and was pulled back in almost instantly.

My hands were on his bare chest, feeling the muscle beneath his taut, tanned skin. I moved my lips in sync with his, letting him take control. His tongue slipped out between his lips and requested entrance. I opened my mouth immediately to welcome him in. His tongue dueled with mine, as the kiss became more ardent.

This was the point at which I had lost myself before. When Jacob's sweet kissing had turned into something sexy and aggressive (in a good way). That's when my stomach started to tighten and heat pooled at my center. I knew I needed to stop us now before we went for round six.

I was able to pull myself away from his embrace. He stood, leaning in the wooden doorframe, clad in just his light blue boxers, staring down at me.

_Can't he just put on a damn shirt?_

"Want a ride home?" He asked.

_Edward and I are still together._ That's what I kept repeating in my head as I stared down at his abs and my eyes started to wander south. _He and I are still together_. _One night in bed with Jacob, involving several repeat offenses, will not change that._

"I know you are capable of driving yourself home but I have to go patrol anyways so if you want a ride…"

I didn't hear the rest of what he was saying. I was focusing on what I needed to do now. Jacob and I need to stay friends, _just_ friends. _I know that he has feelings for me and that didn't get in the way of our friendship before. I can do this. I can pretend this never happened._

This would remain a secret. I could push it to the back of my mind and move on. There wasn't any need to bring it up since it most certainly wasn't going to happen again. I would make sure of that.

Since he always walked around half-naked, I would need to focus my attention elsewhere. Now that I knew what that body could do, and how great it could make me feel, it would be hard not to lose myself and give into the urge.

_This might be harder than I thought_.

"So do you want a ride home or not?" He asked again. 

The weak part of me, the part that didn't want this morning to end, spoke up. "Yes."


	3. Chapter Two

"No I don't wanna be

The guy to see you go

And I don't wanna leave

If you don't take me home

I don't want to see you

Walk away from me

I got everything that you could ever need"

-See You Go by 3OH!3

"Pinky promise!"

"Bells, we aren't five years old."

"You could have fooled me." I jested.

He stuck his tongue out at me.

"I'm being serious, Jake."

"So am I."

"Pinky promise."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't guarantee that it won't slip."

"You can't let it slip. This is life and death."

"No it's not." He pointed out, staring down at me and giving me a goofy smile.

"It is though. This could start a war."

"Only if he loses his shit…"

"Which he will if you 'let it slip'. You need to swear on your life that you won't tell

_anyone_ what happened between us."

"For the millionth time, I already promised that I wouldn't tell. I can't promise that it won't come out by_accident_."

"Well, you need to try and make sure that doesn't happen, otherwise we are going to have some serious problems."

"In my defense, you made the first move…"

"Jacob!" I slapped his arm as hard as I could.

"Hey! That almost hurt." He smiled with a hint of pride. _Maybe I'm getting stronger._

"Good. I wanted it to. Now can you appease me and make me feel a little bit better about letting you go off and phase after what just happened between us."

"Bells," He put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me seriously. "I am a teenage boy, with raging hormones and no girlfriend. I think about sex, like, twenty times a minute." He smiled, unashamed "I finally get to have sex with the hottest girl I know and now you're telling me that I can't think about it. It's really unfair."

"You'll live."

"I don't know…"

"Don't be ridiculous. If you _have_ to think about sex, just picture someone else in place of me." I suggested.

"You want me to think about a different girl having sex with me?"

"Yeah. What did you do before… before we…slept together?"

"Um, I thought about having sex with you…" He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Seriously?" I asked, a little taken aback.

He nodded. The confidence never left his face.

"Oh." I shifted on my feet.

Sensing my discomfort, Jacob spoke up. "So I have to think of someone else. Got any suggestions?"

One of the best—and worst—things about Jacob is that reading my emotions comes naturally for him. He can always tell what's going on with me. It was fabulous last night because he always knew when to do what. In most cases he can sense when I'm getting too uncomfortable. Another great thing about Jacob is that he's always trying to make me more comfortable; no matter what the circumstance he's always accommodating me.

I laughed a little at the ridiculousness of the conversation. We were brainstorming whom he could fantasize about.

"Jessica Alba?"

"Isn't she a mom?" He asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Never fantasized about a M.I.L.F?"

This time his chest shook when he laughed. "I can't believe you even know what that is."

"I've seen American Pie."

He just shook his head. "She's too tan for me. I like my girls pale." He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"Megan Fox?" I suggested.

"Hmm. That'll work." He nodded. "Megan Fox is damn fine. We're talking a hottie biscotti for sure."

"Wait, a what?"

"Hottie biscotti with a naughty body." He smirked.

"You are such a guy." I rolled my eyes.

"Yup. One hundred percent man. You didn't seem to mind last night. In fact you were begging for more of my manliness." His hand slid down to my waist to pull me closer to him. His fingers curled around the fabric of my shirt and massaged the skin underneath it.

I shot him a warning glance. "So it's settled then. Every time you want to think about me, you think about Megan Fox instead. Okay?" _That way the guys will just think he's being a horny teenager._

"Sure, sure."

"Pinky promise."

"Drop it, Bells. I'm not gonna pinky promise. But I will seal it with a kiss." He smiled big.

I lifted up on my tip toes and pecked his cheek lightly. "There. Sealed with a kiss. Now do you promise?"

"That was a shitty kiss. Now that I know what it's like to kiss you I'm not going to settle for kisses like that. Give me a real kiss and I promise I'll work really hard not to let our little secret spill."

I counted to five in my head, wondering if I should just give in and give him a real kiss. I wanted to, or at least my body wanted me too. My mind was telling me to walk into the house. If I kissed him once he'd want more. He is good at giving me more and giving me what I want. But I can no longer act on what my body wants.

"No." I stepped back and crossed my arms over my chest.

"No? Not even a goodbye kiss?"

"No." I repeated.

"Way to make a guy feel unwanted."

_Oh, you're wanted,_ my head screamed, _badly._

"Sorry Jake but I have to go. Edward is going to be here soon. Don't you have to go patrol?"

"Sure, sure."

He started to turn away from me and then snapped back and pulled me in for a kiss. _That must be his thing—catching me off guard._ I have to say the kiss was good. It was slow and sensual but yet slightly frenzied and left me wanting more.

Just when I thought he was pulling away for good, he pulled me closer for one last kiss. When he stopped moving his lips and I was about to pull away, he grabbed my bottom lip in between his teeth and sucked and nibbled on it. It made my knees wobble a little bit when he finally let go. He opened his eyes slowly and looked down at me. I couldn't open mine just yet. I was still steadying my knees. It was a good thing he was holding on to me otherwise I would have fallen over.

"See that wasn't so hard." He took a deep breath in, let it out and then let go of me. "Alright, now I can go."

I wobbled a little bit when he moved away from me. I took a step back so that I could lean against the front door and stared out at him.

My eyes nearly bugged out of my head when he popped the button on his jeans.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I didn't even try to conceal the alarm in my voice.

"Um, phasing." He didn't look up when he said this but instead put both hands into the waist of his jeans and shoved them down to his ankles. Now he was just in his boxer shorts. "It's not like you haven't seen any of this before."

I scoffed. "That doesn't mean you have to get naked on my front porch. I have neighbors you know."

"Yeah I know." He reached for the waistband on his boxers. "Would you care to do the honors?"

"No!" I screeched.

"Fine." He shrugged and shoved those to his ankles as well.

"Jake!"

"What?" He reached down to gather up his clothes and scrunched up the fabric into a wrinkled pile. "Can I leave these here? I really don't want to have to carry them." The look on his face was completely serious but I wanted to ask him if he was joking.

"What?" I asked, not sure quite how to respond.

"I can just leave them in the truck or something. I have to swing back by here after patrol anyways. Billy said he's watching the game with Charlie tonight."

"Oh. Um, I guess so."

"Great." The pile of clothes he'd been holding were conveniently covering his bottom half but as he started to walk down the porch towards the truck everything became exposed.

I tried really hard not to look. I swear I did. But when you're best friend is naked and he looks as good as he does, it's hard not to stare as he walks by.

I got the best view of his ass as he passed me but I had to physically turn my body away from him once he'd put his clothes in the truck. If I hadn't then I would have gotten a full frontal view of his manhood—which, just for the record, exceeded my expectations by a long shot.

"I'm gonna take off. Sam'll have my head if I'm late for patrol again."

"Okay." I mumbled, still turned away from him. I got my keys out of my pocket at pretended to be interested in unlocking the front door. I felt like an idiot when I realized that the door was already unlocked—I'd opened it when we first got here.

"Hey Bells?"

I turned around to face him but glued my eyes to his, praying that he wouldn't get any closer.

"Just so you know, Megan Fox doesn't even begin to compare to you."

Although the thought made me blush and feel slightly self-conscious, it also made my day. Megan Fox was gorgeous, no doubt about it. Jake was giving me a huge compliment.

I giggled. "Thanks?"

He shrugged. "See you in a few hours."

I watched as he turned and started running for the tree line. I saw an explosion of fur and a moment later a big, russet wolf was looking back at me. I waved and went into the house.

As soon as I was inside, it was like reality had all of the sudden hit me. I threw my stuff down on the kitchen table and ran upstairs to change. I showered quickly, washing everywhere and using more body wash than usual. I dressed in clean clothes so that I smelled like laundry detergent and put on lotion to further mask any remaining smells Jacob would have left behind.

I almost panicked when I looked at the clock. Edward would be here any minute (he was not one for being late).

I wanted things to seem normal and not like I had just gotten home from a dirty night of sex and secrets. When I got downstairs I threw a bunch of clean dishes into the sink, pulled out some cleaning spray and the vacuum from the hall closet. I wanted it to look like it was a normal Sunday morning.

I started with the dishes and filled the sink with soap and water. Something about doing the dishes is quite therapeutic. I scrubbed the already clean plates, rinsed and put them in the rack to dry. By the time I had started spraying the countertops with cleaner, the doorbell rang.

Butterflies were attacking my stomach but not in a good way. I'm sure my heart rate was through the roof as I walked towards the door. My right hand was shaking as I reached for the doorknob and slowly opened the door.

Edward.

He stood in the doorway, looking as perfect as usual. The dark circles under his eyes were gone and his irises were the perfect liquid gold. The sun shined down on his auburn hair and the cheek that faced the sunshine sparkled as he smiled at me.

"Bella."

All I could think was _It's fine, he can't read your mind. He'll never know._ I repeated it a thousand times hoping that the nerves would go away.

"Your heart is beating so fast. Is everything alright, love?"

"I'm just happy to see you." I smiled.

He came towards me then and wrapped his arms around me gently. "I missed you." He whispered into my hair.

"I missed you too." _Lie._

"Good. I've wanted to do this all night." He placed his cold hands on either side of my face and pulled me in for a kiss. It was a lot more passionate than I would have expected from him. He made sure to show me that he was trying to push his boundaries a little bit in order to make me happy. All I could think was how my lips had been touching someone else's less than an hour before.

He looked especially happy with himself when he pulled back to look at me. He smiled big and I couldn't help but smile back.

His eyes lingered on my face longer than normal. His eyes traced every line on my face and as he did this my heart rate climbed increasingly.

"You look different, love. There's something about you that I can't put my finger on."

I stopped breathing for a minute. Could he tell that I wasn't a virgin anymore? Girl's talked about feeling and looking different after sex, like overnight they had turned into women.

He shook his head. "I must be seeing things." He laughed a small, quiet laugh and reached his hand out to cup my cheek. "I don't want to fight anymore. I'm sorry for how things ended last night. Can you forgive me?" He asked, his eyes wooing me to say yes.

I nodded lightly. My palms were sweaty. He could sense something different about me. I just pray he doesn't.

"I'm so glad, Bella." He pulled me in for another hug. When he pulled back he placed a feather light kiss on my forehead. "Now, shall we get you to work?"

I nodded and let him lead me outside to his car.

_Maybe I will get away with this after all. _


	4. Chapter Three

"I can taste the tension like a cloud of smoke in the air

Now I'm breathing like I'm running cause you're taking me there

Don't you know you spin me out of control"

-Domino by Jesse J.

The first thing I do once Edward drops me off is check my truck for Jacob's clothes. He had said that he would be back to pick them up and I hoped that I had missed him. Luckily, when I went to check, the truck was free of anything of Jacob's.

Edward had taken me to work at Newton's Outfitters—even though I wish I can find another job, the Outfitters seems to be the only place hiring—and had arrived promptly at 6:30 to pick me up and drive me home. In true Edward fashion, the car ride was mostly silent, save for the elegant classical music playing softly in the background. There really wasn't anything that I could say to him now. What are we supposed to talk about? Of course he doesn't know that I cheated on him so his demeanor is very much the same, however I've become a new woman over night. Suddenly, it feels as if everything I was has changed. Now I don't know how to approach him.

The thing about Edward and my relationship is that we built our connection on conversations. Because of my mental block from his mind reading "powers" he took the time to get to know me by asking me questions and listening to the answers. Edward and I built our love on conversation. What are we if I can no longer talk to him?

Edward didn't seem to notice my silence. Perhaps he chalked my muteness to our fight two nights ago. When he had dropped me off and picked me up from work, he had apologized two more times. I wanted to scream and tell him that there was nothing to be sorry for when clearly I was in the wrong, but my gut told me to keep my mouth shut. Things with Edward have been so nice up until lately. All I want is for things to go back to the way they were, before I screwed up and went to visit Jake.

Dad and Billy were parked in front of the television when I got home. Their eyes are glued to yet another sports broadcast. It is truly amazing how many sports channels there are, playing a constant stream of games. To me they are all the same. Each play sounds and looks like the last one. Sports Net might as well just play the same game on a loop. I wouldn't know the difference anyway.

When I bustled through the door, slinging my shoulder bag and keys onto the kitchen table, Charlie grunted in my direction. The slight turn of his head towards me told me that he was acknowledging my presence.

"Hi dad. Hi Billy."

Although neither man moved his position, they both responded with a "Hey Bells" and a "Nice to see you Bella".

I shook my head.

I kick off my shoes and make my way into the kitchen. I forgot to grocery shop. It has been on my list since yesterday but I had made a detour to go see Jacob. The rest is history.

After rummaging through the fridge for a few minutes I decide that I can scrape together something from nothing. Soup is one of those meals you can whip up when you've forgotten to grocery shop and are too lazy to leave the house in order to pick up ingredients.

I pull out all the vegetables I can find, some left over chicken, a couple potatoes, canned tomatoes and chicken broth. In ten minutes I have a pot, filled with the makings of a delicious soup, bubbling up a wonderful salty steam. I reduce the heat and put a lid on the pot so that it can sit and the flavors can meld. This allows me the time to slip upstairs and take a shower.

No matter how many times a day I shower, I can always go for another. There is something wonderfully therapeutic about showering. While under the stream of water, life is simple. There are no worries or complications. People cannot get under your skin or make you feel guilty. All you have to worry about is getting clean before the hot water runs out.

I bump around in my room for a little while, applying lotion and listening to music, before I get dressed. I throw on a thick sweater that is too large for me and slides off my shoulder, and a pair of distressed jean shorts that I wear when I clean. I don't bother brushing my hair through. By the time I make my way down the stairs, it has dried almost the whole way through. I hadn't realized how long my hair had gotten until I passed the mirror in the hallway.

I stop there for a moment, admiring my complexion for once. I've never been one to compliment my appearance but when I stop to see myself, I am pleasantly surprised at what I find there. My skin looks a little brighter, healthier. My auburn curls look shiny and fresh, falling down to the middle of my back. Somehow even my eyes look better and slightly upturned in the corners like a permanent smile.

The pot of soup is bubbling deliciously when I return to the kitchen. I grab a spoon and began stirring it, letting the steam rise and meet my nostrils.

"Yummy."

I feel a slight tickle of breath on my shoulder and jump nearly a foot in the air.

"Jesus!"

"Nope. Just me." Jacob chuckles behind me.

As I catch my breath I think about what I'll say to him. Nothing clever, nothing serious. I don't need to stir up anything with him tonight.

"It's chicken soup and yes, it will be very yummy."

He chuckles again. "I wasn't talking about the soup."

I spin around to look him in the eye. I raise an eyebrow at his comment.

"Don't get me wrong. The soup looks great, but I'd much prefer you." He wiggles his eyebrows as he slinks closer to me. His head peers over my shoulder to examine the pot of soup but his eyes stayed glued to my exposed shoulder. He lets out a deep breath, which tickles my shoulder and causes the hairs on my arms to stand up. "I'm starving."

Jacob is the king of double meanings. I'm almost positive he isn't referring to his famishment but instead his carnal appetite.

I duck out from under him and cross the kitchen to get out the bowls.  
"We can eat in a few minutes." I fumble around in the cabinet, reaching for the bowls that are hiding from me. " Anyway, I thought you'd already gone home. Your clothes were gone when I got back."

"Yeah I had to run a errand."

"Oh."

When I turn around with an armful of bowls, I almost run straight into Jacob. His hulking frame is situated right in front of me. I stare forward at his chest rather than up into his eyes. If I look there I am sure to find emotions I can do without at the moment. My body was already starting to feel the effects of his proximity to me. I can see that he is wearing a white t-shirt, which makes his tan skin and shiny, dark hair look even more irresistible. Even worse is the low rise of his jeans-they hang loosely on his hip, exposing the v that dips downward below his waistband- which drives me mad.

"Here, let me help you with those." His hands reach out to grab the bowls from me, his fingers grazing my own. It could just be my imagination but I swore I felt shock waves run through my entire body the second he touched me.

Once the bowls are safely in his hands I bolt out of the room. Being in the small kitchen with him was making me crazy. I promised myself that I wouldn't let my physical needs rule how I act around Jacob. I want nothing more than to put what happened between us in the past. Pursuing anything with Jacob is dangerous. The only problem is that it feels so good when I do.

I push through my bedroom door and bring my hand up to my face, rubbing it furiously.

_Get a grip Bella. You have a boyfriend who loves you very much._

I pace my floor as I try to calm myself down. In all honesty, I am getting worked up over something as insignificant as a hormonal urge.

_Jacob is your friend. Nothing more. And even though you shared something incredible with him, there is no reason for you to be feeling a pull towards him. It's just the hormones talking. The only reason you went to Jacob was because Edward pushed you away __**again**__._

I feel my breathing getting harder. My mind flashes back to last night when Jacob and I were crumpling up his sheets. The images are so real it's as if I am reliving them again.

_There isn't anything wrong with giving in to something you really want. Indulgence can be a good thing._

My mind is starting to work against me, causing me to consider things I shouldn't and want things I cant have. By the time I hear the knocking on my door I am utterly confused and acting purely on instinct.

"Bells, you alright?"

I turn to see Jacob leaning in the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. He looked incredible standing there like a Greek god who'd been blessed with russet skin and an angel's smile.

When I looked up into his eyes, all I could see are my emotions reflected back at me. He is feeling the same pull that I am. Even though he'd been flirtatious in the kitchen, I could tell he'd been holding back like I am trying desperately to do now.

I shake my head 'no'.

He uncrosses his arms and walks over to me slowly. "What can I do?"

I take one step towards him as he continues to make his way across the room. When he gets close enough, I reach out my arm and brush his forearm gently. He inches forward and wraps his other arm around my waist to pull me closer to him.

_Just do it Bella. There is nothing wrong with having a little fun._

I want to scream at my head and tell it to shut up, but really, it is telling me what I want to hear.

"Bells?" I barely register Jacob's voice since it was so quiet, like he was struggling to speak at all.

As I looked up at him, all rational and responsible decision making went out the window. When his eyes meet mine, there is only a second before our lips crash together. The arm that had wrapped around my waist pulls me up to his level while his other hand reaches for the back of my head and holds me to his lips.

He is passionate, taking my lips between his teeth and nibbling slightly before releasing each one and kissing it again and again.

My hands find their way into his hair, pulling and scratching at his scalp. The contented grunts and sighs he makes convince me that he likes what I am doing.

Before I know it, my legs hit the edge of my bed as he lowers us down slowly on top of it. As if to further prove his agility, he manages to never let go of me, or my lips, while positioning himself between my legs and reclining us against the pillows. I slide my hands down to his shoulders and grip there as he begins to move slowly against me.

His left hand trickles down to my hip, where his slides his thumb under the fabric of my sweater and traces circles on my skin. As his hips move into my hips I begin to move in sync with him. The friction we're creating only adds to the excitement and heat coursing through my body.

In a swift movement, Jacob has hitched my knee over his hip and flipped us so that I am straddling his waist and he lay contentedly underneath me.

"I like you on top." He growls as he lets go of my lips for the first time.

I let out a very girly giggle and move my lips to his neck, sucking and biting there while he continues to draw circles with his thumb. While I work on his neck, he rhythmically thrusts his hips towards my center causing me to let out almost inaudible moans of pleasure.

"God, Bella. You don't know how amazing you sound."

I can feel myself blushing but I don't care. He makes me feel good and in turn he feels the same.

He flips us over again so that he can be on top. He scoots down so that he is level with my belly button and slides my sweater up to expose my milky white skin. He licks his lips before roughly biting my hip. The feeling was extraordinary since he was so close to my center. The tingles his love bite cause travel down my torso causing me to let out a loud and very discernable moan in pleasure.

Jacob chuckles lightly and as he licks the spot he bit, I can feel him smiling. He repeats the same motion on my other hip before kissing his way up my chest to my neck where he shows some much needed affection to the junction of my neck and collarbone.

"Jake, don't stop. It feels so good." I whisper.

I feel him lower my sweater back down over my stomach while continuing to kiss me.

"I have to."

Before I can ask why, like the desperate and horny teenager I am, he continues.

"Our dads are downstairs. They don't know I am here yet and I don't think they'd like to find out by hearing us rattle your bedframe."

My eyes shoot open. I completely forgotten about our dads and the soup I'd made for dinner.

"Oh my god!" My hands fly up to cover my face, which is turning beet red.

"Don't worry. I got caught up in the moment too."

Jacob sits up and smooths out his shirt that got ruffed up and wrinkled in our little make out session.

I follow him and sit up, adjusting my sweater and patting down my hair. Biting my lip, I slide off the bed and take a breath. I turn to look at him. "How do they not know that you're here?"

"Bells, have you seen them. I could have set off a bomb in the living room and they wouldn't have noticed."

I laugh. He is right. Charlie and Billy are so connected to the T.V. that they failed to notice Jacob—no matter how large he may be—entering the room.

"Anyway, I should probably come in through the front door so they don't get suspicious. The game sounds like its just finishing up now."

"Alright." I nod. I want to thank him for stopping us before things went any further. Who knows what could have happened had he not said anything.

Jacob stands up from the bed and comes over to me. He reaches down, grabbing my face between his palms and gives me one last, intense kiss before jumping out the window. When I open my eyes he's gone.

A minute later I hear Charlie's pounding footsteps come up the stairs.

He peeks his head into the room and knocks on the doorframe. "Hey kiddo. Jacob just got here. You ready to eat?"

I'd had just enough time to compose myself before he came in.

"Yeah. I'll be down in a minute."

When I get downstairs a minute later, Jacob is standing in the kitchen with both our fathers. He looks even happier than usual when he looks at me. He flashes me a knowing smile.

I've never had a harder time at the dinner table. Not looking at Jake was impossible but every time I did, he'd smile at me with that naughty glint in his eye. It was no help that he kept playing footsie with me under the table. But he managed to be as polite as ever and keep both our dads out of the loop.

When Jacob and Billy are finally leaving, Charlie stops them in the hallway to ask what they thought of dinner.

"Bella is quite the cook isn't she?" Charlie boasts, patting me on the shoulder.

"Without a doubt, the best I know." Jacob smiles.

I blush.

"Did you get enough to eat there, Jacob?" Charlie asks, half joking about his freakish food consumption and half serious.

"Well, my appetite wasn't entirely satisfied," he looks down at me with a smirk on his face, "but Bella promised to she'd cook for me again."

The more he spoke the less I gathered that he was talking about food or my cooking. He wants to finish what we had started in my bedroom. Unfortunately, so do I. Feeling gutsy and still worked up from earlier, I decide to play along.

"I promise next time you wont go home hungry."

He looks a little shocked but responds anyway. "I can't wait."


	5. Chapter Four

_"Placing a smile at the perfect event_

_Gracing your skin with the side of my hand"_

-Trade Mistakes by Panic! At the Disco

Edward drives me to school, keeping one hand on the wheel and the other interlocked with mine.

The guilt I feel about last night is overwhelming, yet I don't regret it. Being with Jacob makes me feel alive. I'm a different person with him than I am with Edward. If last night was any evidence, I feel more confident, sexy and beautiful. And those are qualities I'd never use to describe myself in the past. Sure, Edward tells me things about myself, trying to persuade me that my depressing inner monologue is the only thing killing my confidence; he thinks I am beautiful regardless of how I may feel about myself. But, ever since I slept with Jacob, I feel an astonishing sense of confidence that seems to have sprouted from our tryst. Maybe this is how girls feel when they lose their virginities.

Losing your virginity is supposed to be a transition into womanhood. Maybe my new found confidence has something to do with no longer being the awkward teenage girl I think of myself as being. I am a woman now.

Losing my virginity was supposed to be something that I shared with Edward. For heavens sake, it's not like I didn't offer it to him first… not like I exactly "offered" my virginity to Jacob. Things just happened naturally.

I've read the magazines and listened to girls at school talk about losing their virginity. Each story is different. Some lose it to guys they barely know, at a party somewhere, after one too many drinks. Others spend years waiting with their devoted boyfriends for "the perfect moment" – something I am highly skeptical actually exists. Either way, there is a connection formed in the act. Something undeniable and unbreakable. Even those girls who just wanted to get it over with, still feel something for the guy they lost it to.

I always pictured my first time being with someone that I loved and trusted. A boyfriend. Jacob doesn't fit the boyfriend category, but he does qualify for the others. He's my best friend. I trust him with my life. It seems logical that I would trust him with this. And I do love him. He's been a part of my family since I was a kid. It's not a brother sister kind of love. When I think about loving Jacob, I think that no matter what we'll be there for one another. Jacob would say something more manly, that we have a take-a-bullet-for-the-other-person kind of love. And I'm sure he would take a bullet for me. That's the kind of guy he is. Loyal, devoted, loving.

My love for Edward is something different. It's the jump-off-a-cliff-to-hear-your-voice kind of love. It makes me risk my own life to keep him safe. It makes me consider a dying just to stay with him forever.

Crazy, I know.

My love for each of them is very different. Apples and oranges. I _love_ Jacob but I am _in love_ with Edward.

I feel like I betrayed that love when I slept with Edward. I gave up the suicidal-tendencies-because-I-love-you feelings I have for Edward, for a night with Jacob. But, thinking more, I realize it's not all bad.

Jacob has made a point in the past, to say that Edward has all of me and he has none. Now, he can never say that again. I gave up the one thing I can never give to Edward, to Jacob. I experienced my first time with him. In a way, I am giving him part of me. He can forever remember what we shared that night. He and I have a connection that Edward and I will never have.

So yes, I gave away my virginity to my best friend instead of my boyfriend. But in the process of losing my virginity, I changed for the better. In the monumental, slightly painful act I performed with Jacob, a new and improved Bella was born. I woke up with a confidence that has started to bloom within me. I_feel_ better, I think I look better and I can think more clearly about my decisions.

Another plus? I don't have to deal with the messy and awkward logistics of losing my virginity with Edward. The pain is over, the awkward "where do I put my hands?" and "am I doing this right?" have been worked out and now I can just focus on enjoying the experience.

Then suddenly, it hit me.

"Edward, are you a virgin?"

I didn't think it was possible to catch a vampire off guard, but I proved myself wrong. Edward let out a half-grunt, half-cough I wasn't expecting.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just figured, we never talked about it and I got really curious all of the sudden." I backpedal until he looks slightly less shocked at my sudden outburst.

I can feel Edward clenching his jaw. This is not a comfortable subject for him. I watch him closely as he swallows and composes his words.

"It's perfectly alright, love." He swallows—a very human motion—and continues. "Yes, I am."

"Why?" I ask, not realizing how that may sound rude. I cover my mouth with my free hand and look away. "Sorry, that was rude."

"You don't need to apologize. It's perfectly alright to be curious."

I'm blushing now. He must think I am a totally possessive girlfriend, but I suddenly have to know how he stayed abstinent this whole time. From what I've overheard from Emmett and snippits of what Alice shares with me, vampires are just as…_hormonal_ as teenagers, no matter how long they've actually lived. Shouldn't the same be true for Edward?

"To be honest, I never found the right person." He continues to drive, his hand still in mine. "When I was still human, I was raised with certain values and ideas about how to live my life. Premarital sex was not something to be considered. I had planned on finding a girl I wanted to marry and then on our wedding night…"

I'd never seen Edward have trouble speaking before.

"Then when I became a vampire, all my wants, emotions and urges were taken over with bloodlust. I wasn't going on dates to try and find a wife, I was trying to keep my humanity in check." I can see the school in the distance. "Once I joined Carlisle permanently, and our family became more stable, I focused on my other priorities. I went to school but because we moved around, I never settled with anyone. Everything changed when I met you, though. I wanted to make sure that when I did finally meet the person I wanted to be with, that I'd share everything with them. And that's how I feel about you."

This makes me smile even though it reminds me that I didn't wait to share everything with him.

His tone turns more serious. "Bella, is this about our fight the other night?"

"What? No. I was just curious."

"I really want to apologize for the way things turned out the other night. I know I said that I was sorry before, but I hadn't been thinking about things from your perspective before now. I finally understand why you were so upset."

We pull into the school parking lot and Edward parks in the back corner of the lot so we will have some privacy; then he cuts the engine.

"Edward, we really don't have to talk about this. I was being stupid and immature."

"I really want you to explain something to you, Bella." He undoes his seatbelt and turns to look at me. "I want you, Bella. _Want_ you, want you. Trust me when I say that I want to lose my virginity just as bad as you do."

I blush when he says this.

He continues.

"The other night I wanted you just as badly, but I was afraid that I might hurt you. Don't think for a second that I don't want to share that experience with you, because I do. I never meant to hurt your feelings by rejecting you. Sex can't simply about wanting one another. One of us has to be thinking logistically. Your blood is still strong to me. I don't know if I'll be able to stay in control. I know you said that you trusted me; I just can't trust myself…yet. We _will_ try, Bella. I promise. I just need you to give me some time." He looks deeply into my eyes, pleading with me.

"I am so sorry I got upset with you. I was being selfish. Of course I can give you time, Edward."

"Thank you." He reaches out and brushes his ice-cold knuckles across my cheek. "This way it'll be more special. We will have both waited for the right one." He flashes me a brilliant smile and immediately I feel horrible.

My stomach sinks. I try not to let the smile fade from my face but it's hard to lie to his face. Instead of fumbling for a response, I nod my head and lean in to kiss him. It's a sweet, short kiss but Edward seems content when I pull away.

"Let's get to class." I smile. Before he can say another word, I reach for my backpack and open my door.

oOo

"The weather is supposed to be perfect this weekend, which is why I was thinking we could get a couple people together and go to the beach. I know you don't usually go out with us, but think it could be fun. Come on Bella, what do you say?"

I can feel Angela pulling my arm, pleading me to agree. I want desperately to focus on her but since Edward left me at my locker, I've been thinking about what he said to me in the car. And, as if it weren't enough to think of that, now I'm worried about seeing Jacob. Instinctually, my heart begins to beat faster as we cross the threshold into our history class.

"Earth to Bella," Angela sings, waving her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, Ang. Uh, I'd love to go to the beach. Sounds fun."

"Great!" She claps. "I talked to Jessica about it last night and she is inviting a bunch of girls from the cheerleading team and some of the football players she knows. You can invite Edward if you want."

"He's busy." I answer without even thinking. The sun, plus La Push, means no Cullens.

"Oh. No biggie. He can come with us next time." She smiles.

"Okay class, lets get settled." Mr. Harper calls out.

I raise my eyes and search the class. Jacob isn't here yet which settles my stomach a little bit. After the talk with Edward, I'm not sure how I feel about spending the next hour with Jacob, confined to a classroom.

"I'll catch up with you at lunch." I mumble to Angela.

"Okay." She smiles.

I settle into my seat and Angela joins her desk partner across the room. Even though it's only been a minute, I feel like I've been sitting in this seat for ages. The mindless chatter of my classmates becomes white noise as my mind begins to wander.

Jacob is my best friend, without a doubt, so I can't cut him out of my life. I don't think I could stand not having him around. Still, I need to set boundaries. The precedent I'd set by sleeping with him was terrible. Somehow I've even managed to trick my mind into thinking that kissing Jacob in my bedroom is an acceptable activity.

There need to be rules. He can't kiss me and I can't lead him on.

Edward was honest with me, sharing things with me that he didn't need to, about his personal life. I'd left him with the impression that he and I would lose our virginities together. As much as I am ok with having given my virginity to Jacob, it still doesn't feel right continuing without making some changes. There needs to be a clear division between boyfriend and friend. Jacob can't be doing the things I'm supposed to do with Edward.

From now on, I am saving myself—at least what's left—for Edward.

As soon as I make this resolution, Jacob makes his way through the door.


	6. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five**

_"Try to tell you 'no',_

_But my body keeps on_

_ Telling you 'yes'"_

-One More Night by Maroon 5

My eyes never leave him as he waltzes into class ten minutes late. He's dressed in dark jeans and a gray v-neck shirt that accentuates his biceps perfectly. I watch as he nods to the teacher who, for some strange reason, favors Jacob over the other students. There is no other reason why Mr. Harper would ignore Jacob's blatant tardiness.

"Take a seat Mr. Black"

"Yes, sir." He smiles and weaves through the desks until he reaches my table all the way in the back. Of course he'll sit next to me. We've been sitting next to each other since the beginning of the year when we found out that we'd be in the same class. Most of the students end up switching seats, but the two of us have been lucky enough not to be moved by Mr. Harper. I think it mostly has to do with the fact that Mr. Harper has a little crush on Jake. Plus, regardless of how much we talk to each other during class, we always manage to get our work done.

Like I said, we always sit together. But now that we've slept together, I don't know how to act around him in public.

I am all too aware of how good he smells when he slides into the seat next to me. A strong woodsy musk, mixed with men's body spray. I drink it in, letting it fill my lungs and drown me.

He doesn't say anything when he sits down and I can't tell if it's because the teacher is still eyeing him, or for some different reason. So I sit and wait for him to acknowledge me.

Finally when Mr. Harper turns to write something on the board, Jacob shifts in his seat so he can throw me a smirk.

"So, Bells, what's for dinner?"

_Definitely not what I was expecting_.

"What?" I don't turn to look at him, knowing very well that he is most likely still smirking at me.

"You said last night that you'd _make me dinner_," I can see from the corner of my eye, his eyebrows wiggle, "I wanna know specifics. Your place or mine?"

I know exactly what he's referring to. Last night I'd promised him more of what we'd started.

"There won't be a dinner, Jacob." I keep my eyes forward on the board, refusing to look at him.

"Come on, Bells. Billy and Charlie both heard you promise that you'd _satisfy my appetite_."

"I did no such thing."

I am flat out lying and Jacob calls me out on in.

"Bullshit." He says a little too loudly. The people at the desk in front of us turn around but the rest of the class seems not to have heard him.

I try to stifle my laugh unsuccessfully. Jacob just smiles and looks down at the desk.

I whisper when I address him this time. "I never told you I'd 'make you dinner'. _You_ told our dads that. Not me."

He thinks about this for a moment and then sighs. "You're right. I did tell them that. But you _did_ promise that I wouldn't go home hungry, and Bells, I'm _hungry."_ I can feel the weight of his stare on me. Knowing just what his intense gaze can do to me, I keep my eyes forward and respond.

"Jake, hungry or not, that can't happen again. I mean it. You and I are just friends." I try and sound stern but it comes out all wrong because when I sneak a glance at him, he seems to be completely unaffected.

The look on his face is casual, void of emotion, when he says matter-of-factly, "Friends that fool around?"

"That was a one…two time thing." I correct myself.

"Are you counting nights or actual number of times we've fooled around?"

"Don't get technical on me, Jake. All I'm saying is that it happened and now we need to stop."

Jake scoots closer to me and brings his lips so close to my ear that wind couldn't squeeze between us. "You didn't want me to stop when I used my tongue to—"

I shove him away quickly before he can finish his sentence. Jacob is good with his words. Good enough to get me into bed the first time. I can't risk him sweeping me up into something I won't want to get out of.

"Is there a problem back there Ms. Swan?" Mr. Harper addresses me, shooting me a pointed look.

"Nope."

"Good. Now let's continue…"

Jacob has moved closer to me so that our sides are practically touching. I don't notice until he brushes his hand up against mine on the table. I look at him and find that he's staring at me, his lip between his teeth.

"You were in my dream last night." He whispers, making the statement so much more intimate.

The way that he's looking at me and the gentle way his fingers caress the top of my hand makes me want to know more.

"Yeah?"

He nods subtly. His fingers ghost around my knuckles. The motion is so sensual that I find myself closing my eyes as he draws patterns on my hand.

"Bells, I can't stop thinking about you." He whispers close to my ear. "I keep replaying our first night together, in my head."

His hand drops from the table and rests on my thigh. He begins to move his hand up and down, softly at first and then more urgently.

"It's driving me crazy that I had to stop us last night. I wanted you so bad. I _still_ want you."

I can hear my breathing pick up as he continues to massage my thigh underneath the table. His actions alone are enough to get me worked up, but now he's talking about how much he wants me. I can't just ignore how his words and actions make me feel wanted, adored and special.

"You can't tell me that you haven't been thinking about me too. About what we shared."

"Jake." I whisper, so faintly that I question whether any sound came out at all.

"I _need_ you, Bella."

I want to give in to him, even with everything that I told myself about setting boundaries. He's doing something impossible to me. He's attacking my weakened, aroused body. The way his hands are moving and massaging my thighs, are playing with my emotions, pulling things to the surface that I intend to hold down as long as possible.

He and I are on a merry-go-round. It's a spinning, dizzying thrill that's hard to get off of once you've felt the wind in your hair.

I can't look him in the eye. If I do, I'll surely lose my resolve and make our intimate moment a public one.

"Bells." He pleads.

The way he says my name, so sensually and sweetly, pulls my attention away from the desk that I have been staring at intensely for the past ten minutes, while trying to avoid him.

When I meet his eyes, I find something I don't expect. He is looking at me with everything he has; if I were standing it would bring me to my knees. There is need, desperation, admiration, and something I can't put my finger on. Never the less , the weight of his stare pulls me forward until my lips are almost touching his.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZ!

I nearly jump out of my seat when the fire alarm goes off.

"Okay class. Everyone get up from your seats! Follow me outside. Quickly!"

There is a mad dash as everyone stands up and shuffles out of the classroom. I look to Jacob who hasn't taken his eyes off of me, despite the fire alarm blazing in the background.

He grabs my hand, stands up and pulls me along with him, as a crowd forms around the door where everyone is trying to exit.

Every class has emptied into the hallway. There are people left and right, bumping into one another like cattle being herded. I can no longer see Mr. Harper and our class has dispersed in every direction.

Jacob is still holding my hand as we follow the masses outside of school. I realize that this may appear strange, that my hand is locked tightly with someone other than my boyfriend, but with everyone caught up in the commotion, no one bothers to look down.

I think about how intimate that moment was, that Jacob and I had shared just minutes ago. How is it that I could get so lost in the moment? My mind so clouded by his touch? His voice? His scent?

As soon as we get outside, everyone begins to head more freely towards the football field. The fire alarm policy states that everyone is supposed to head out to the field so that teachers can call attendance. None of the teacher's ever do. Mostly, we wait and talk with one another until the principal returns with the fire chief to tell us it was a false alarm.

With my hand still locked in Jacob's, I begin to follow everyone else towards the field. Jacob has a different idea. He takes a step backwards, causing a few people bump into him when he does, and pulls me in the opposite direction of the crowd.

"What are you doing?" I whisper, knowing he can still hear me over the chatter of our classmates.

"Just follow me."

I trust him although I'm not sure what he has planned. The responsible, chief of police's daughter, part of me worries about getting in trouble. But, there's something in the way Jake directs me that makes me feel safe and secure.

He pulls me to the side of the crowd and around the edge of the math building. There is a storage closet along one side that is filled with school supplies and extra textbooks. When we reach the door, he looks behind me, checking for teachers and then wiggles the handle. Sure enough it swings open and I am tugged inside.

"Jake?" I whisper into the darkness.

It takes only a second for me to find him because before I know it, his lips are crashing down on mine. Any hesitation I had about going to a secluded place with him vanishes when he kisses me.

His lips are soft and pillowy as they move against mine. I am instantly engrossed in all that is Jacob. His scent wraps around me as I meld my lips with his. His warm hands have curled in my hair and are holding me firmly against him.

Kiss after kiss, I become more absorbed in Jacob. With every motion he makes, I feel my body being pulled to his like a magnet.

"Mmm, Bella." I hear him murmur when he finally comes up for air.

His hands leave my hair and slide down to my waist, one curling around my hips and the other resting just below my butt. In a swift moment, he yanks me up until I have no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist.

He takes two steps forward until I feel my back lightly graze the wall and as he leans forward to kiss me, my back knocks roughly against it.

"Ouch." I grumble.

Jacob chuckles. "Sorry." He places a kiss on my nose, then one behind each ear and finally one on my lips. "That better?"

"A little." I say sweetly, smiling at his response. "How is it that you can be sweet one minute and sexy the next?"

"You think I'm sexy?" He asks.

"Well, don't let it go to your head." I joke.

Jacob nuzzles in the crook of my neck, and mumbles so that the vibrations tickle my entire body, "I'll show you sexy."

He begins to nibble on my collarbone, while pulling my thighs as close as possible to his waist. Although we just got here, I can tell he's already getting worked up. He proves me right when he starts to gently rub up against me, creating friction between the denim that separates us.

My fingers curl in his hair as he begins to kiss my shoulder, letting my t-shirt slide down slightly. I can't help but let out a breathy moan when he scrapes his teeth against the sensitive skin there.

I suddenly want to be closer to him. Feel his skin against my skin. I pull his face away from my shoulder and kiss him passionately. He leans against me so that my weight is supported fully between him and the wall, while he brings his hands up to tease the underside of my breasts. While I kiss him, his fingers play with the material covering my chest, pulling at it, wrinkling it. I want it off. I want him closer to me.

"Take it off." I whisper in his ear.

I don't need to tell him twice. His hands dip below the fabric and pull the shirt swiftly over my head. I still have a tank top underneath, but below that I'm bare.

He looks down at me greedily, undressing me with his eyes. I feel sexier in this moment than I ever have.

His eyes return to my lips and he goes in for the kill. My mouth is helpless when he takes control, pulling my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking and nibbling until I'm weak.

I take a chance and open my mouth further. He returns by letting his tongue explore my mouth, claiming places I didn't know were there. My nails scratch at his scalp as he continues to kiss me, fully and completely.

Jacob's hands wrap around my back as he pulls us away from the wall. He walks backwards over to some chairs I didn't know where hidden in this closet. He sits down and as a result, I am straddling his lap.

"You do like me on top, huh?"

"Always." He smiles.

His fingers tickle my arms as he brings his hand up to my shoulder, sliding my tank top strap down and off my shoulder. It doesn't take him long to see that I'm not wearing a bra underneath and he takes full advantage of it.

He pushes my tank top down enough so that my breast is fully exposed and my nipple hardens with the chill.

"You're so beautiful, Bells." Jacob sighs, taking in the sight of me.

His mouth descends to my chest, covering as much of my breast as he can. Then slowly he begins to suck and lick, eliciting sounds from me I didn't know I could make. He is gentle, taking his time to admire my nipple with his tongue.

"Oh, Jake. That feels so good."

I begin to rock back and forth in his lap as he rhythmically appreciates my breast. My fingers continue to massage his scalp as I hold his head as close to my chest as I can get it.

When I feel like I can barely stand it, Jacob switches to my other breast and continues his motions.

I can feel myself reaching the edge when my pocket begins to vibrate. Edward is calling me.


	7. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six**

_"Fiona's got him on the phone_

_And she's trying not to moan_

_It's a three-way call and he knows nothing, nothing!_

_Scotty doesn't know!"_

- Scotty Doesn't Know by Lustra

"Don't answer it." I say with my lips attached to the nape of her neck.

I hear her heart rate pick up as I nibble on the spot I just kissed. Instinctively she moves her hips forward against me, causing the perfect amount of friction between us.

As if she doesn't realize that she is reacting to my touch, she answers, "I have to."

"Why? Because he's your boyfriend?"

"Yes…and I love him." She says the last part hesitantly.

"And I'm just the guy you're hooking up with in a storage closet." I say matter-of-factly.

She looks at the phone in her hand then at my eyes. "Don't say it like that."

"Well it's true." I pull her towards me even more, intentionally rubbing myself against her. I dig my nails into her sides and nip her neck more roughly than I needed to. "That's what we're doing. Hooking up."

She lets out a soft moan before pulling her neck away from me. "It just sounds so…dirty" she says, blushing.

I let out a chuckle, staring down at her position on my lap. Her legs are wrapped around my waist, her hands situated on my thighs. Her top is still down and her chest is bare and beautiful. Her hair is messed up, sticking up in several directions, a result of my hands running roughly through it.

"I hate to break it to you Bells, but…"

She looks down at herself and immediately realizes how she looks. I don't need to say anything more to convince her of just how intense things are getting between us.

She immediately moves her hands away from my lap and runs them through her knotted hair.

She doesn't understand how incredibly sexy she looks. I'm sure she is even less aware of how much everything she is doing right now is turning me on. Even the blush on her cheeks is making me hard. Something about the innocence in her eyes combined with the shy blush and provocative position we're in is making me harder than I've ever been.

"Are you going to answer that?" I ask, distracting her from her embarrassment I find so appealing.

"Crap!" She brings the phone up to her ear, clears her throat and says "Hello?"

Edward's voice responds asking Bella if she is alright.

My wolf hearing and the fact that Bella is sitting in my lap, allows me to hear the entire conversation. But I really don't want to listen as Edward explains how worried he was about her and that he missed her so much blah blah blah…

I look at Bella as she turns her head away from me and talks to Edward. Does she think that turning her head will prevent me from hearing everything? Or is she avoiding reality? She is talking to her boyfriend while straddling her best friend.

I move my hands from her hips and slide them down her thighs that are perched on my lap. I make my way down slowly and then back up towards her center even slower. Her head snaps to mine. Her eyes are piercing through mine. When my hands are as close as possible to her zipper, I begin to make circles with my thumbs along her inner thighs. Her stare becomes less intense as my ministrations take her focus away. I carefully push myself out of the chair to rub my center against hers. She shoves the phone as far away as her arm with allow and lets out a breathy gasp. Her head drops slightly and her eyes close. I repeat this motion, letting her feel how hard I am under my jeans.

"Hello? Bella?" I hear Edward say on the phone. This pulls Bella's attention away from the pleasure and brings her back into their conversation.

"Yeah, sorry. I'm still here."

I don't listen to the rest of the conversation. I am too wrapped up in what I am doing to Bella. This is a time when I love being a wolf. My senses are all heightened. I can hear the way her heart beat picks up as she becomes more aroused. I can hear even the slightest release of breath and most silent of moans. Even better, I can smell when her body is ready for me. She smells sweet and yet slightly tangy. Her arousal is like a perfume that I would bathe in if I could.

"Okay. Bye, Edward." She says and hangs up the phone. She puts her cell back in her pocket, takes a deep breath and looks at me.

She looks irritated, yet her pupils have dilated—another sign that she is getting more out of this than she lets on. "You can't do that. Especially when I'm on the phone." Her words are tense and firm.

"I thought you liked it." I say, testing her. I cock my head to the side and flash her a smile.

"I don't." She turns her eyes away from me so I can't see her lying to me.

"You're a bad liar, Bells." I say, giving her the opportunity to recant her previous statement.

When she doesn't say anything and continues to look away from me, I pull her face down to mine. She looks me in the eye for a moment before I tilt her head to the side and place open-mouthed kisses along her neck and jaw, working my way up to her ear. Her breathing picks up as I get closer to her sweet spot. I run my tongue along the edge of her ear and bite down gently on her earlobe. I hear her suppress a moan by sucking in a breath in order to hide the beautiful sound. I nibble on her earlobe before letting it go and whispering, "I can feel your body responding to mine." I move so that my lips are at her other ear, "Just let go. Let me help you get your release." I suck on her earlobe while working my thumbs along the underside of her breasts.

This time she can't suppress her moan. The sound comes out full volume and if I didn't have amazing self-control, I would have come right then and there.

As much as I would love to get down and dirty with Bella, it's obvious that this isn't the time or place. Still, with her above me it's so hard not to want to go further. I want to feel her skin against mine. I need to get my release and it's clear that she is close to hers.

Desperately needing a distraction, I ask "What did he want?"

"Hmm?" Bella asks, her eyes still closed.

"On the phone?"

"Oh. He wanted to know if I was okay… and where I was."

"Did you tell him?"

"You have super special wolf hearing. Weren't you listening?"

"I was a bit distracted." I motion with my eyes to her bare chest.

She lets out a little giggle. "You really have a one track mind Jake. What would you do if you ran into a naked vampire?"

I laugh hard.

Bella leans down and brings her lips to mine. She tenderly places a kiss on my lips and then brushes her hair behind her ear.

"I really have to go. The fire department cleared the school and teachers are sending kids home. Edward will come looking for me."

I let out a little growl unexpectedly and pull Bella closer to me. I reach my hand up and wind my fingers through her hair, pulling her face back down to mine. I want to feel her lips again. I meet her halfway and kiss her with everything I have. She opens her mouth just enough for me to slip my tongue inside and explore her mouth. She tastes so good.

Her hands are rested on my shoulder, needing and scratching the exposed skin there. I can tell she enjoys kissing me as much as I enjoy kissing her.

I know that Edward will come looking for her, just like she said, but for some reason I can't let her go. I want to stay kissing her forever. Something about the way she makes me feel, so turned on yet so relaxed at the same time. I love it.

I pull away from her mid-kiss, leaving her wanting more. I lean back and take a look at her bare chest one more time. She really is beautiful.

I slide her straps back onto her shoulder, effectively covering her up. Her shirt is still on the floor somewhere from when she practically begged me to take it off. I like that Bella, the one who isn't afraid to tell me what she wants. It's damn sexy.

I sit up, pulling Bella with me so I can place her on the floor. She rests her feet on the ground and looks up at me. I go to retrieve her shirt which is crinkled in the corner of the very small storage room.

"Jake, why did you bring me in here?"

I respond honestly. "Because I couldn't go another minute without touching you. You were driving me crazy last night, Bells. And then in class I couldn't help but think of all the things I wanted to do to you."

I watch as she bites her lip, teasing it between her teeth. "Really?"

"Yeah. Is that so hard to believe?"

"I don't know. I guess I'm not used to anyone wanting me the way you do."

_Play it cool, Jake._

I know she was a virgin when we slept together but I don't know what kind of physical relationship she has with Edward. She just confirmed she isn't getting this kind of attention from him. I feel powerful knowing that I share something with her that he doesn't.

"Get used to it, sweetheart. I'm just getting started with you." I throw her a smirk then turn away to retrieve her t-shirt. I swear I can see her smiling to herself but I won't dare look at her.

I hand her the t-shirt while she attempts to smooth down her ruffled hair. Her lips are plump and red from kissing. She has a small bruise on her neck and shoulder where I bit her too hard. I like that she has my mark left on her. It's a small reminder that she and I were together. When she puts her shirt on, the bruises are covered up and a part of me is disappointed. The wolf in me wants to mark her as my own, but I know I can't. Whether I like it or not, she is taken.

"We better get you out of here. Charlie will start a search party if you don't get home." I joke, not wanting to let her go.

She smiles and nods. "You're probably right."

She turns to find the door amidst the darkness. I pull her back to me for one last kiss. My arms circle around her waist and hold her tightly to me. My lips crash against hers but move smoothly and gently once there. I feel her melt against me and really respond to the kiss.

_Leave her wanting more. Don't give yourself away._

"One for the road." I say and walk towards the door. I pull the handle and daylight streams in, ending our privacy and reminding us both that the rest of the world waits for us on the other side.


	8. Chapter Seven

**Chapter Seven**

"_Who has to know?_

_When we live such fragile lives_

_It's the best way we survive_

_I go around a time or two_

_Just to waste my time with you_"

-Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects

I watched Jake leave the storage closet. He walked confidently, strongly into the sunlight. I was still trying to catch my breath after what had just happened. My heart nearly stopped when I saw Edward calling. I never should have followed Jake here, but I found myself being pulled in his direction like a magnet with no choice but to join him. With every kiss and touch that pull became stronger. I could feel it the second he laid eyes on me in class.

There was another buzzing in my pocket. I desperately hope it isn't Edward, wondering why I'm still not back. I pull the phone out of my pocket and look at the screen.

**DAD**

I answer and sure enough I can hear the familiar sounds of the police office in the background.

"Hi dad."

"Bella. Are you alright? We got the call about the fire alarms." Charlie sounded slightly worried but it was evident that he didn't want to come across that way.

"Yeah, I'm alright. It was a false alarm."

"Well, I've been called in to check it out. Do you need a ride home?" He asks, the sounds of shuffling papers in the background.

"Edward is going to take me."

Charlie clears his throat, his obvious distaste for Edward not well concealed.

"Alright, I'll see you at home then."

I end the call and slide my phone back in my pocket. A few deep breaths later, I am walking out the door. I am sure I look like a mess, but since it was dark and mirrorless inside the storage closet, I have no way of knowing what I look like. First things first, I find the girls bathroom. I run some water over my face and run fingers through my hair. The one thing I can't get rid of is the tingling, aching feeling between my legs that comes from not finishing what we started. Our time in the storage closet was both fulfilling and equally frustrating. If it weren't for that phone call…

I leave the bathroom and am instantly hit with a reality check. Edward will undoubtedly be able to tell that I've been with Jacob. His scent is _all_ over me, and that "dog" smell is even stronger in places his scent should _never_ be—areas Edward has never even seen.

"…Well I heard that one of the Quileute boys pulled the alarm."

I hear Jessica talking to one of the girls from the cheerleading squad, in the hallway. I peek my head out the bathroom door and spot her.

"Jess!" I call out.

She turns towards my voice, her blonde hair swirling around her shoulders. "Oh, hey Bella." She smiles.

"This may seem weird, but can I borrow your body spray?" I ask.

She reaches in her bag and pulls out a very girly, pink sparkling bottle. She hands it to me. "Forget to put on deodorant this morning?"

"Yeah. I am so forgetful sometimes." I respond, pulling the top of the bottle and spraying myself thoroughly.

"Woah. Be careful. That stuff may smell great but a little goes a long way." Jessica warns.

"Just don't want any bad scents coming through." I tell her.

Jessica shrugs her shoulders. "So did you hear about the fire alarm? Rumor has it one of the Quileute boys pulled it. Amanda Peterson had gym last period and saw a bunch of those boys leaving campus after the alarm went off."

Why would they pull the alarm? If the boys from the pack all left campus, it must have been a pack emergency. Why wasn't Jake with them?

"Oh. I wonder why they would have pulled it…"

"Who cares? Everyone is psyched that school got cancelled. I had a calculus test last period, which has now been conveniently rescheduled." She smiled. "Jack from the football team is having a party at his house to celebrate. Care to join?"

I hand her spray back to her. "Maybe. It's a school night, I probably shouldn't be out. And I promised Edward we'd hang out."

Jessica rolled her eyes. "Come on Bella. I get that you and Edward are attached at the hip, but just because he doesn't like to go out and socialize doesn't mean you have to do the same. How often does school get cancelled in the middle of the day? We should be celebrating!"

Although Jessica was being a little harsh, she did have a point. I never went out. I kept my school friends at a distance. All my afterschool time was left for Edward and what was left over was meant for Jacob. Leave it to Jessica to give me a reality check in the girl's bathroom.

"You're right. I suppose I could come out tonight."

"Fabulous!" She searched her bag and pulled out her cell phone. "I'm meeting Angela out front in twenty. We're going back to my house to get ready, are you going to join us?"

"Yeah, I have to go get my stuff and say goodbye to Edward. I'll meet you in the parking lot." I tell her.

"Alright." Jessica finishes writing a text and puts her phone back in her bag. "If you're not out front in twenty minutes, we're leaving without you." She jokes.

I rush back to the classroom where Edward is waiting for me. He is leaning in the doorway casually, with his hands in his pockets, when I reach him.

"Hey" I say shyly when I look up at him. "I just ran into Jessica and she invited me to hang out and go to this party tonight. I was just going to grab my stuff and then meet up with her." I explain to him.

"Alright, love. If that's what you want to do." He smiles, taking my hand. "Will I see you tonight?"

"Maybe. I don't know how late I will be getting back." I look up at him but find it hard to look him in the eye, the guilt of what I was just doing with Jake finally hitting me. "I'll call you." I finally say.

I drop his hand and move into the classroom. My backpack is right where I left it, except there is a small white piece of folded paper sticking out of the pocket. I snatch up my backpack and shove the note farther into the pocket before zipping it up and throwing it over my shoulder.

"Jessica and Angela are waiting for me, I better go." I say to Edward. He is still smiling but less than he was when I first reached him. I reach up on my tiptoes and kiss him once, quickly.

"Is everything alright? You seem nervous." He comments when I pull away.

"I just don't want them to leave without me. You know how Jessica is about being late." I say with a laugh. I am afraid he can hear the shake in my voice. _Can he smell Jake underneath the body spray? Can he tell I am hiding something?_

"She does get frantic." He jokes. "Go ahead." He nods down the hallway.

I turn around and start down the hallway.

"Bella." He calls out.

I turn around slowly. I can't help but let me mind wander to the worst possible scenarios. _He knows. I'm a dead man. He'll never forgive me._ My heart starts to beat faster. "Yes?"

"Have fun."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "Thanks." I run back and kiss him once more before running down the hallway to meet the girls.

Jessica is leaning against her car when I get outside. Angela is standing next to her deep in conversation. Jessica interrupts Angela when she sees me. "Finally! Lets get going. People are already pregaming."

I mumble a 'sorry' as I get into the car. When Jessica gets into the driver's seat she turns the radio up to top volume and speeds out of the parking lot. I pull the note out of my backpack and unfold it. Immediately I know the handwriting. I would know Jake's scribble anywhere.

B -

Meet me tonight.

First Beach at 7.

I want to finish what we started.

J.

oOo

Jessica hands me a sparkly tank top and some dark skinny jeans. "Put these on."

"I don't think these are really my style. Can't I just wear what I am wearing now?"

"No." She almost looks offended that I would even ask such a stupid question. "Just put those on. Trust me, I know what I am doing."

I hold back the groan I want so desperately to let out and walk into the bathroom with Jessica's clothes. I pull Jacob's note from my pocket and reread it. He wants me to meet him at First Beach tonight. His note said it all. He wanted to 'finish what we started'. As much as I want to, I know that I can't keep meeting him in secret. That would only get me into trouble, leaving me feeling even guiltier than I do right now.

Jake always gets me into the worst situations. I lose the responsible Bella and turn into this adventurous, gutsy, foolish Bella who makes decisions based on hormonal urges and not logic. In the moment, it seems _so right_ and then afterward I find myself lying and covering my tracks. That's no way to live.

_Forget about the note, go hang out with the girls. Put Jacob out of your mind. You cannot meet him. It will end up badly._

I pull off my shirt and tank top, and as I do it's hard not to think about how Jacob was doing this hours earlier.

_Stop thinking about earlier, it will only make things worse._

"Bella! Hurry up and get changed!" Jessica yells through the bathroom door.

"I'm going as fast as I can. I don't understand how you get these jeans on. They're so tight!"

I can hear her and Angela laughing.

No joke, Jessica's jeans are skin tight. It feels like my legs are suffocating, if legs could breathe that is. But luckily, when I turn around and look in the mirror, I see the plus side of such tight jeans. My butt looks amazing! It actually looks like I have one, instead of the flat, unshapely thing I usually see when I put my jeans on.

The top Jessica handed me, however, is not something I would ever wear. Sparkles aren't really my thing. When I put it on, it hangs too low and too loose. The fact that I am not wearing a bra doesn't improve my cleavage at all. Jessica has enviable curves and I'm sure the top looks fantastic on her. On me, not so much.

I slowly open the bathroom door. "Jess, this top is not working for me."

"Clearly." She says, looking me up and down. "The jeans are fabulous but the top is horrendous on you."

_I wouldn't have said horrendous…_

She goes into her closet and swipes through her hangers until she pulls out a black band t-shirt that hangs off the shoulder slightly and frays at the bottom. "Try this one." She hands it to me and I can tell this one is already better than the last.

When I put it on, I feel much more comfortable. It doesn't hug my body like the last top and my chest is fully covered in this one. It _is_ cut a bit short and leaves just over an inch of my skin showing of my belly, but to my surprise I actually like the way it looks.

"Better?" I ask when I step out of the bathroom.

"Much!" Jessica claps.

"Yeah, Bella you look really nice." Angela adds. I can see now that she changed while I was in the bathroom. She is wearing a short white skirt with a purple tank top and black boots.

"Look at _you_ Ang! You look amazing!" I gesture at her outfit. She smiles and looks down at herself.

"Really?"

"Absolutely!" I assure her, "You're gonna blow them out of the water tonight."

"She's just hoping to blow one guy away tonight." Jessica adds while looking at herself in the mirror.

"What? Ang you didn't tell me you were interested in someone."

She blushes sheepishly. "He doesn't even know I exist. We've only hung out a couple times, but it was always in a group setting."

"Who is it?" I ask, genuinely curious.

Before Angela can answer me, Jessica slides in "It's Embry Call!" She says excitedly. "I mean, can you really blame her? He's a total hottie. At first you think, 'he's so cute' but then you see him shirtless and damn! Not to mention he's a fabulous football player!" She explains animatedly.

Embry? I'd never thought of him as anything more than Jake's best friend. I suppose he was good looking and funny, supportive, sweet. Angela should be with someone like that.

"Yeah, I guess so." I respond.

"Bella, you should talk to Jacob!" Jessica lit up like she had the most brilliant idea in the world. "He could help get them together!"

"Um, I don't know if that is such a good idea." I shrugged, suddenly getting nervous. _You have to stay on track Bella. No talking to Jake—not until you figure out what to say to him._

"I wouldn't ask him to do that." Angela adds.

"Do you like the guy or not?" Jessica asks, staring right into Angela's eyes.

"Yes." She responds quietly.

"Okay, then we are gonna do everything we can, _as your best friends_, to get you two together." Jessica looks at me fiercely. "Right Bella?"

"Of course." I nod.

"Great! Now let's pick out something awesome for me to wear for tonight." Jessica turns back to her closet and motions for Angela and I to join her.

I'd never felt so out of place and behind socially until we arrived at Jack's house. Cars were parked on every inch of the surrounding lawn of his house. The music blasting inside could be heard from the driveway, loud and clear. There was a strong stench of spilt beer and a definite possibility of drug use going on. Although it was early at the start of the party, the setting sun didn't stop anyone from acting like it was midnight on a Saturday.

Inside the house was even worse. I had to hold on to Jessica's purse as she walked to make sure I didn't get lost in the people. After pushing our way through dozens of people, we finally settle in a spot between the kitchen and an open room where I assume living room furniture used to be. There is a sliding glass door that is propped open, but it doesn't help lower the temperature. I'm sweating already and we haven't even been here ten minutes.

"Is every party this crowded?" I ask Angela.

"Jack did invite our whole class." She points out. "It just seems more crowded because the keg is right over there." Angela motions to a thicker crowd of people across from the kitchen, circled around a large beer keg.

"Oh." I respond. _So that's what a keg looks like…_

"Let's get some beer!" Jessica cheers.

"Not a chance. The keg's tapped out." Melody, a friend of Jessica's from the cheerleading team, explains. "The guys are supposed to be getting another one but it might be a while."

"Bummer. I guess I'll just have to find a cute guy to give me his beer, then." Jessica resolves. "Want me to snag a drink for you two?"

"No thanks." I say.

"Lame." Jessica whines. "How bout you, Ang?"

"I'm fine for now."

"Okay, Mel and I are going to go find something to drink. Be back in a few!" And then she was gone.

I turn to Angela, hoping she knows, better than I do, what to do at a high school house party. Besides the obvious—drinking—I wasn't sure where we go from here. Unfortunately, someone from our math class is talking with her, which leaves me to stand awkwardly alone.

"Bella?"

_That voice sounds really familiar…_

I turn around to see a familiar face looking at me. _Embry._

"Hey."

"I never thought I'd see you here." He says, a look of surprise on his face.

"Me either. I got coerced into coming by some friends."

"Well, are you having fun at least?"

I look around. The music is blasting from hidden speakers around the house. People are mingling and moving their way into the backyard, some stumbling or slurring their words. I can no longer see Angela; she's surely been swallowed up in the crowd.

"Not really."

"Well, that's no good." He turns around and makes his way over to a table stacked with various food and drink. He returns with a half-empty bottle of a clear liquid. "At least let me pour you a drink." He has a big smile on his face.

"Can you believe it? All these single guys and not a single one hit on me." Jessica says returning to my side. Upon seeing whom I am talking to, she says "Are you planning on sharing that?" She points to the liquor bottle in his hand.

"I can, but only if Bella has a drink." He grins. "After all, I did grab this for her."

"Deal." Jessica reaches for the bottle.

Angela bumps into my shoulder. "Sorry about leaving you Bella, I started talking to—" her words are cut off abruptly when she sees Embry.

I step in quickly. "Embry, this is my friend…"

Embry cuts in, "Angela. I remember."

He smiles wide at her but instead of smiling back she laughs once and looks down at the floor.

Jessica looks between Angela and Embry. The silence between them makes me feel uncomfortable. Sensing this Jessica shakes the bottle in her hand. "Do you have cups?"

Embry shrugs. "I didn't grab any."

"No worries. I'll get some. Ang, want to help me?" They looked at each other. Angela looked relieved that she can leave this circle. Jessica on the other hand, looks like she is ready to scold Angela for being so quiet—especially when she finally gets her chance with the guy she's been crushing on.

Jessica grabs Angela's arm roughly and pulls her into the crowd of people, heading to wherever the cups are.

I watch as they both leave me, again. At least this time I have someone to talk to.

"You look really nice, Bella."

"Thanks. You do too." Embry has changed out of his usual cargo shorts and t-shirt and is wearing something more party-appropriate. He has dark jeans on and a clean white button down.

"This may come as a shock, but us pack members clean up well."

"I can see that." I laugh.

Thinking back, I can't recall a time when I'd seen any of the boys dressed up. Jacob had explained that pack wardrobe consisted of clothes that could be easily torn away and sullied. In comparison to his usual attire, Embry looks quite handsome. No wonder Angela was at a loss for words.

"Are the rumors true?" I ask playfully, "Did a pack member pull the alarm?"

"Sam needed the pack for an emergency meeting. It was the quickest way to get us all out of school so we could phase." He explains.

I realize that we probably shouldn't be talking about the pack and phasing in public, but with the noise level inside this house, I can't even hear people next to me talking. Safe to say, the cat is still in the bag.

Embry gives me a funny look, "So, uh, what exactly were you doing with Jake today, that kept him so occupied?"

I swear my heart stops.

"He was _very_ late to our pack meeting." He looks at me disapprovingly. "There's only one reason a guy shows up that late, smelling like a pretty girl…"

I look him in the eye and try desperately not to let all the emotion I'm concealing, show in my face.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I say. _Play it cool, Bella. Don't let him see you sweat._

"Jake's right, you are a lousy liar." Embry chuckles and then gets serious. "I know you were with Jake."

I swallow and take a few breaths. "How?"

"After all those nights patrolling the house, you get used to someone's scent. Yours was all over him." He looks pointedly at me.

Suddenly, I feel angry. _Who does he think he is? Coming here and accusing me of something like that_. No matter how true, he shouldn't feel like he can say these things to me.

"What are you saying? Jake and I are friends. Of course my scent was on him." I say back, with a bit more bite in my tone than I had wanted.

"You two are one in the same. That's what Jake said too." He takes a deep breath. "Look, I'm not trying to make accusations, I just want to know the truth—for Jake's sake and the pack's. He's not very good at keeping his thoughts to himself when we phase…"

My heart rate picks up and I'm finding it harder to breathe. Clearly, that talk about picturing Megan Fox instead of me didn't stick. _He knows. Soon everybody will know. Then Edward will know_…

He adds, quietly. "I wont tell anyone. It's really none of my business."

"You're right. It's not." I try and sound confident, tough even, as I say this but I can hear my voice shaking. My hands are shaking too. It's starting to feel really hot and I want to walk somewhere, anywhere else but here.

Embry turns me towards him, gently gripping my shoulders. "Bella, relax. I said I wouldn't tell anyone and I won't."

"Does anyone else know?"

"I don't think so." He says.

I exhale the extremely large breath I've been holding in since Embry revealed that he knew about my big secret with Jake.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad. Jake is my best friend and I just don't want things to go badly. If the pack finds out about this, it won't go over very well…"

"You're not making me feel any better, Embry." I say, my eyes stinging slightly with the anticipation of tears.

"I know. I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I haven't seen him that happy in a while…maybe even ever." He smiled down at me. "Whatever you two are doing, sure puts a smile on his face."

I blush deeply.

He thinks about what he just said and laughs. "Wow, I really don't think about what you and Jake are doing. Please _never_ tell me."

"Okay." This time I laugh along with him.

"I'll try and keep the secret, but if you want my advice…be more careful. Jake can't be late pack meetings and show up smelling like you. They'll get suspicious." Embry advises.

I nod seriously. "I know. I didn't plan for this to happen it just sort of—"

I'm interrupted as Jessica slides her way between Embry and me. He shoots me a glance as we are pushed apart. Who knows if we'll ever finish our conversation? Maybe it's for the best to get off that topic. It was starting to make me antsy.

"You do _not_ want to know what I had to do to get these cups," Jessica sighs, rejoining our circle. "But I got 'em!" She raises the stack of red cups over her head and shakes them excitedly.

She passes out the cups, one to each of us, and then starts pouring the clear liquid into each one. First into her cup, then Angela's, then Embry's and finally mine.

"Drink up!" Jessica cheered.

I look over at Embry with a nervous face.

He whispers, "It's vodka—the cheap kind."

"Hold on, let me get in on this." Quil comes up beside me and pats Embry on the shoulder. From the way he is talking, I guess that he got here earlier than we did and helped empty the keg. "Drinking without me, brother?" He asks Embry.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Embry responds. "Jessica, mind if he joins us for a shot?"

"The more the merrier." Jessica smiles. She pours a shot into another red cup and hands it to him.

"Bottoms up." Embry says, clinking his cup against mine. Immediately everyone tips their cup back and swallows everything in the cup. I look down into my cup. _Why did she have to pour so much?_ There's no way I can drink it all in one gulp.

Angela leans over and whispers "You don't have to drink the whole thing at once. I usually don't." She tips her cup to show me how hers is far from empty.

This gives me more confidence. I look down into the cup once more. The sharp scent of vodka fills my nostrils. _Oh, what the hell. Here goes nothing._

I bring the cup to my lips and tip my head back, letting as much of the drink fill my mouth as possible. I tip my head back further, willing the alcohol down my throat. It feels thick and burns as it trickles down.

"You okay, Bella? You're turning kind of red." Quil asks as he pours another shot into his cup.

"Yep. Great." I cough, trying to shake off the acidic taste in my mouth.

"Want some more?" Jessica asks as she too pours herself another shot.

I think about this for a minute. As much as I want to be responsible and refuse the drink, I know that I should be enjoying high school—that means I need to chill out, have some fun and let loose. And now, my brain is on overload with new information. Embry knows. I'm not sure how much he knows, but he's wary enough to warn me. If ever there was a time to have a drink, it's now. _One more drink can't hurt. Right?_

"Pour me another." I say handing Jessica my cup.


	9. Chapter Eight

**Chapter Eight**

"_When you walk my way, I feel the rush come over me_

_A sharp panic, panic_

_It's the things that you say that makes the rush come over me_

_It happens all the time_

_I never was too good at following rules_

_Nah, nah_

_I'm better just pretending I was the fool_"

-Lessons in Love by Neon Trees

"Is my head supposed to feel this heavy?" I ask Embry, who is sitting beside me on the couch. I try to move my head to look at his face, but it's too hard to lift.

"That depends. Are you drunk?" He asks.

I struggle to keep my head upright and settle for a position half way between sitting up and lying down. "How do you know when you're drunk?"

Embry lifts himself from the couch, putting down his cup, and reaches for my hand. I take it reluctantly and he tugs, pulling me up out of my seat. Immediately I am overcome with a dizzying feeling. It's like my world is spinning, round and round—my own personal tilt-a-whirl ride at the carnival.

"Ugggh" I grumble. My head jerks back from of the weight and the dizzying feeling amplifies. "Put me back down."

Embry smiles softly. "Okay, I think it's safe to say you're drunk." He lowers me gently back on to the couch with a cautious hand on my waist.

I hold a hand to my forehead. "I didn't even have that much to drink. Did I?" I can hear my words slurring slightly as I talk. I put my palms against my cheeks. They're burning up. I can only imagine how red my face is. _What would Jacob say if he could see me now?_

"It doesn't matter. You're a lightweight, sweetie." Jessica coos, coming over to me—slightly unsteady, I might add—and runs a hand over my hair with a surprising maternal touch.

Embry nods with a laugh. "I'll get her some water." He takes the red cup out of my hand and leaves the room.

As soon as Embry is out of sight, Angela seems to reappear, having come out of hiding. When Jessica spots her, the sweet look she had used for me is gone. Her hand goes immediately to her hip—not a good sign—and her mouth opens, ready to scold her best friend.

"Angela! What the hell are you doing? Embry is over here, being totally sweet to poor drunk Bella, and you're off hiding in the corner."

"I'm sorry." Angela looks at the ground, ashamed but also frustrated. "I just can't talk to him. I don't know what to say to him. I just get lost in the beautiful amber of his eyes and all the words just float away." There is a big, goofy smile plastered on her face and I wonder how much she has had to drink.

"Buck up and talk to him!" Jessica barks. She has no sympathy in her voice. Her directions are firm and unforgiving.

"Easier said than done," Angela responds, "not everyone is as naturally outgoing as you, Jess."

"Yes, well alcohol helps." Jessica looks in her cup and then hands it to Angela, "Drink this. It's liquid courage." She smiles.

"Are you sure?" Angela asks, wary. "I've already had some to drink and I don't want to turn into a mumbling, slurring fool."

"Don't worry, Bella is hogging the spotlight for that already." Jessica jokes.

"Hey!" I yell half-heartedly in rebuttal.

I can see Embry's head bobbing through the crowd, far higher than everyone else's, as he makes his way over to us. As he walks, girls' eyes are glued to him. I see them rake their eyes slowly over his body. A blonde girl, wearing too much makeup, bites her lip as she watches Embry's backside.

"Ang, if you don't get up the courage to talk to him, one of those other girls will." I say, knowing full well that it's true. A catch like Embry can't stay single for long.

Angela looks up and her eyes follow what I've been watching. A cleavage-showing redhead pushes off the wall in hot pursuit of Embry. Her dress is laced up the front, with a single bow keeping it closed. All I can think is: _easy access._

Angela, noticing the redhead, grabs the cup out of Jessica's hand and downs its contents in one fell swoop. She makes a sour face as she tilts her head forward, the cup empty. Apparently the alcohol doesn't sit well with her either.

The redhead isn't fast enough, though, and soon Embry has returned with a glass of ice water in his hand. Almost immediately Angela perks up.

"Hey, you're back." Embry says excitedly when he spots Angela. This catches her off guard.

"Yeah, just making the rounds. Saying hello to everyone." She responds cooly. She smiles and so does Embry but an awkward silence falls between them.

Jessica steps in, "Angela, did I mention how pretty you look tonight? Don't you think she looks pretty, Embry?"

I watch as his cheeks flush the slightest pink.

"Gorgeous." He nods.

Angela's face flushes. Her eyes drop to the ground and a slow smile spreads across her face.

"My tummy feels warm." I say.

The three of them look over at me. I didn't mean to break the silence, but I can see the look of relief on Angela's face. She clearly had no response for Embry's bold compliment.

"Okay Bella, I want you to drink this entire glass of water." Embry instructs me. "It's going to help sober you up a bit."

I grab the glass and gulp as much as I can.

"Good girl." Embry praises. "If you feel like you're going to be sick, let me know alright?"

I nod obediently and continue sipping on my own water.

"Ladies!" Quil stumbles our direction, holding a full cup of beer. The keg in the house has been replaced and Quil has clearly taken advantage. "Why aren't you dancing?"

"No one has asked me to dance." Jessica responds, raising her eyebrows at him—a silent challenge.

"Well," He makes a curtsy-type move and extends his hand to Jessica. "Let me be the first to formally invite you on to the dance floor."

Jessica giggles and takes his hand. "Why thank you."

Embry looks at Angela, "Are you up for it?" he asks her.

"Up for what?" She asks, completely unaware of Embry's proposal.

He laughs softly. "A dance."

A smile spreads across her face. "That would be nice."

I watch as all my friends make a beeline to join the other dancing party guests. Meanwhile, I sit alone with my glass of water, on an old, smelly couch.

"Bella, drop that water and come join us!" Jessica shouts from across the room. Quil has led her to the makeshift dance floor and is jumping up and down to the heavy bass in the music. He looks like a total goofball.

I take another big gulp of the water, hoping for the spinning to subside, put down the glass and walk over to my friends. I stumble only a few times and thankfully have some balance. Unfortunately my world _is_ still spinning.

As I get closer I see that Embry is cautiously moving his body next to Angela as she sways to the beat of the latest pop song. There is space between them, but not much.

I finally reach the dance floor. It's really just a square section of the living room where all the furniture has been pushed to the sides. There is a table with an amateurish DJ table and speakers duct-taped to the floor.

Even if my head wasn't spinning and I was steadier on my feet, I would still have a hard time dancing. It's never been my forte. Especially here, where I look around and see people grinding on each other. How do you know which way to move? Which direction do you move your hips? How do they stay in sync? Where do girls learn to dance like this? Its times like these that I wish I had been more girly and social growing up. Surely you learned party etiquette from your girlfriends in middle school. Unfortunately I didn't.

Luckily, Jessica grabs my hand and pulls me towards her, so I don't have to worry about what to do next. She isn't dancing like the other girls, who are rubbing themselves up against the boys. Instead she sways back and forth and throws her hands up in the air during the chorus. I try and mimic her moves but she is twisting her head too much, letting her hair bounce around her, and when I try it just makes me dizzier.

Quil grabs my hands and helps me move in a way that doesn't make me feel dizzy. We establish what looks like a twist and shake routine.

"You've got some sweet moves, Swan." Quil comments.

I laugh. Never, will anyone say that I am a good dancer, so I know he's just trying to make me feel better.

"Oh my god!" I hear Jessica whisper, the shock evident in her voice. I look to her and follow her gaze. I see Angela tucked tightly against Embry, her arms around his neck and his lips planted firmly on hers.

_Way to go, Angela!_

oOo

"Spill the beans!" Jessica chanted.

Angela and Embry made out on the dance floor for several minutes before Quil interrupted, claiming he needed some fresh air. Embry had apologetically made his exit, and walked a very wobbly Quil outside. Jessica had snatched Angela's arm and mine and pulled us back to the couch I had been sitting on earlier.

"What is there to tell?" Angela says with the biggest smile on her face. Her feigned modesty is not lost on Jessica.

Jessica gives her a playful shove. "What? You don't kiss and tell?"

Angela sticks her tongue out at Jessica and then shakes her head.

Gone is the awful spinning feeling. Now I just feel warm and happy, carefree even.

"I love you guys," I say, grabbing Angela and Jessica and pulling them in for a hug, "Why don't we hang out more often?"

Jessica and Angela exchange a look. "Well, you're always with Edward. And we never thought in a million years that you'd come to a party with us." Jessica explains.

"Are you saying I can't have fun? I am _so_ much fun," my words slur and slip out of my mouth.

"Yes, Bella you're a lot of fun. Especially when you're drunk." Angela laughs.

I lean my head against Angela's shoulder. "You two are, like, my very _bestest_ friends."

"Aw, thanks Bella. We were beginning to think the Cullen's had adopted you. You and Alice have been attached at the hip lately." Jessica points out.

I wag my hand at her. "Not really. I've been spending lots of time in La Push." When I say La Push, it comes out as a jumbled mess of sounds. "Speaking of La Push," I poke Angela in her side and she squeals. "How was the kiss?" I attempt to wiggle my eyebrows at her but I'm sure I'm just making a silly face.

Angela thinks about this for a moment and then lets out everything she's been holding back, "Amazing! He is _such_ a good kisser!"

"How did it happen? One minute we're all dancing and the next you two are sucking face." Jessica mimics a kissing face and we both laugh.

"I don't know we were just talking and dancing and the next thing I know, he just leans down and kisses me." Angela bites her lip as she talks. "It felt so…natural! Like his lips were meant for mine and he knew exactly what to do."

_It is the same way with Jacob. It must be a Quileute thing._

"What?!" Jessica turns her head sharply to look at me. I pick my head up off of Angela's shoulder and look at the two of them. They are wearing matching expressions: wide eyes and expectant pursed lips.

_Did I just say that out loud?_

"What do you mean 'it's the same with Jacob'? Have you kissed him?" Jessica's eyes grow even wider.

_Yes, I did say that out loud. Stupid drunk Bella, with no filter._

She leans in closer and whispers, "You can tell us. I swear I won't go blabbing to Edward or anything."

Angela leans in closer, too, waiting for me to spill the beans.

_Why does everyone want me to confide in them tonight? _I suppose this whole thing is my fault—for starting this thing with Jacob.

"Um, I…" I start, the decision to tell them not made yet. But my silence must give me away because Jessica's eyes look like they are going to pop out of her head.

"You did!" Jessica shouts, but upon seeing some heads turn towards us with curiosity she lowers her voice back down to a whisper. "I can't believe you kissed Jacob Black!"

"I never said that I did." I say, looking away from them.

"Your face kind of gives it away." Angela adds, "As soon as Jessica said Jacob's name, you smiled."

"I did not!" I say defensively.

Jessica and Angela exchange another look and start laughing.

"What's so funny?" A familiar voice asks.

I look up to find none other than Jacob Black, looking down at me.

_Oh, no._

Angela has a look of shock on her face.

Jessica tries to whisper discretely to Angela, "Speak of the devil" but I know Jacob can hear her. A small smile appears on his face.

_Great, now he knows _for sure_ who we were talking about._

I shoot Jessica a death glare, and her jaw snaps shut. "Nothing. Nothing is funny." I tell him. "What are you doing here?" I try to sound casual but it's not working.

He grins, "Embry called me. Said you were pretty drunk and that you'd need a ride home."

He reaches out his hand to me and I take it. Instantly, a spike of warmth shoots up my arm and through my body. _What _was_ that?_

"I am not drunk." I say, wobbling slightly when he pulls me to my feet. He looks at me pointedly. "That doesn't prove anything. You know how unsteady I can be. I'm a 'walking, talking hazard' remember?"

"You're agreeing with me? You _must_ be under the influence." He says with a smile.

"I did have a teensy bit to drink," I measure with my thumb and forefinger.

"She's hammered." Jessica whispers to Jake.

"I can see that." Jake snorts.

"You didn't need to come and rescue me." I retort.

"Really?" He lets go of my hands and I stumble backwards. He doesn't let me fall though, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me back to him.

"Okay, maybe a little bit." I sigh. "But I was doing fine before you got here. I was having a good time, hanging out with my _gurlz_!" I hear Jess stifle a laugh behind me. "And besides, Embry was taking very good care of me." I shrug out of his arms and lean back on the arm of the couch.

Jake gives me a look that tells me he is not pleased with my behavior.

What? Just because he shows up here, like a knight in shining armor to rescue my poor drunk self, doesn't mean I am going to fawn over him. Especially not in front of my friends. It's bad enough that I let it slip that Jacob and I have kissed. They don't need to know that it didn't stop with a kiss.

I add, while crossing my arms tightly over my chest, "I'm a big girl. I'm perfectly capable of getting another ride home."

Jakes expression turns sour.

"From whom? Your boyfriend?" Jake raises his eyebrows at me, "Do you really think he'd approve of your drunkenness? Think he'd drive his fancy car out here and pick you up from a house party?"

"I don't need his permission, Jake. I can do whatever I want." I snap. "And for that matter, I don't need you commenting on my life choices either."

"I didn't say anything. I was just trying to help you out. Be a good _friend_." His emphasis on the word 'friend' is clear.

Jessica and Angela are dead silent behind me. The tension between me and Jake is almost palpable. Although the silence behind me is distracting, it's not enough to take my mind off the fact that Jake is burning holes through me with his ice cold stare. I know I can't look him in the eye so I settle for staring at his arms. They're tan and muscular under his dark gray t-shirt and I find my cheeks getting hotter the longer I stare.

A weird animal-call type sound pulls my attention away from Jacob's arms and towards his two best friends making their way through the crowds of people.

"Jake! When did you get here?" Quil cheers, slapping him on the shoulder. Embry approaches shortly after.

"Took me a bit longer than I expected. I was all the way over at First Beach." He tells them.

"What were you doing at First Beach?" Quil asks, confused.

"I was waiting for someone." He says each word cautiously.

I can feel his eyes on me but I refuse to look at him. _Is he mad that I didn't meet him? _

"But she never showed up." He sounds angry but underneath I detect a hint of sadness.

"Hot date?" Quil asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

"You're dating someone?" Embry asks, surprise evident in his voice. He sneaks a look at me, but I refuse to look at him either.

"We're not _dating_..." Jake smirks. He trails off, his tone riddled with implications of something dirty.

Jessica scoffs and whispers to me—as if I haven't been in on the school gossip—"Everyone knows First Beach _is_ the most popular weeknight hookup spot." Her tone is slightly judgmental, although she's been known to brag about her first time "parking" down on the rez.

Quil chuckles and punches Jake on the shoulder.

I want out of this situation and out of this conversation. Even though I know Jake is talking about me, it feels wrong to hear it as if he's talking about another girl. Especially with Quil giving him a congratulatory punch on the shoulder, like he's just won some bro award for getting into a girl's pants.

_Strange. He's making me jealous of myself._

Jake is putting on a front, letting Quil think he was bringing some skanky girl down to the beach to hook up; but, in reality he is just describing our current situation. Wasn't I supposed to meet him at the beach so we could "finish what we started"? That sounds like an invitation to hook up if I ever heard one.

Before it didn't seem so bad, at least not until I was on the outside, listening to Jake explain our tryst. It makes it seem so dirty and wrong.

_Please somebody save me!_

"I love this song!" Jessica squeals when the song shifts to a pop song I faintly recognize.

"Me too!" Angela says.

Even though I dread getting back out on the dancefloor, I need to escape from Jacob. His eyes are still on me; his lazer beam gaze is melting me from the inside out.

_This is my chance._

"Let's dance!" I say, grabbing Jessica's arm. Embry reaches sweetly for Angela's hand and pulls her up from the couch as well.

Jessica is dancing before we even get to where the other people are dancing. Whilst holding her hand I feel much more steady than I did the first time, my dancing skills however have not improved. She pulls me with her as she swings around and sways her hips. I'm trying my best to keep up with her but I'm worried I look silly next to her. Also, with Jake still watching me I'm being extra careful to remain somewhat graceful.

Jack, the party host and star of the football team, approaches Jessica and she nearly faints with excitement.

"Wanna dance?" Jack asks her.

She simply nods her head, too happy to form words. She'd been waiting all night for this guy to talk to her and she's finally got her chance. I am happy for her, truly, but as she steps away to dance with him, I feel myself stumbling over my own feet. Without her there to mirror and keep me steady, I am a stumbling disaster. Not to mention, the shoes Jessica let me borrow are now giving me blisters.

The next step I take, I feel a sudden popping along my ankle. A burning heat spreads out from the pop and I know I've opened up a blister. I am about to leave the dance floor when I feel two warm arms circle around my waist and pull me close. My spine lines up with the hard plains of abs. I lean my head back and it rests on a rock-hard chest. His scent swirls around me and makes me dizzy but in the best way. Pine trees, rain, moss, motor oil, and sea salt. _Jacob_.

He lowers his head until his lips are next to my ear, "Dance with me."

"With all these people around?" I ask, whispering back to him.

His arms circle tighter around my waist. I don't know if it's the alcohol talking but it feels so good to have him this close to me.

I look to my friends but they are far more occupied with dancing than keeping tabs on us. Still, he pulls me backwards to a dark corner of the dance floor with his arms wrapped securely around me—a way of shrouding me from curious eyes.

When he and I are far enough away from our friends, he pulls me flush against him and starts to sway his hips to the music.

"I can't dance." I admit. "I don't know how."

"I can show you." He whispers.

"But, Jake…"

"Trust me." He says, his voice making shivers run down my spine. I want to be stubborn and say "no", but it's impossible when he is making me feel this good.

I find myself following his motions, leaning on him as we both follow the beats of the song. For once I don't feel clumsy. With his arms around me I feel sturdy and strong.

Jake, from what I can tell, is an excellent dancer. The song playing is slow and seductive and the way he is moving behind me is rhythmic and enticing. With every step it feels like he is pulling me in closer. The confidence he is giving off is beyond sexy and the way he is holding me makes me never want to leave the dancefloor.

"You didn't come to meet me." He whispers huskily in my ear, a twang of anger in his voice.

_I was hoping we could avoid this conversation…_

"I waited for _two hours_, but you never showed up." His hands are on my hips now, his fingers gripping at the exposed skin between my shirt and jeans. He starts to turn my hips more sharply to the beat, causing more friction between us.

He moves his head to the other side of my neck and whispers, "Why didn't you meet me?"

_What do I tell him?_

"Did you not enjoy what we did earlier?" He asks, manipulating my hips exactly the way he wants them moving.

"I did." I say cautiously, trying not to encourage him too much. That doesn't stop him though. He pushes his hips into my back and I can feel how much he is enjoying our bodies rubbing together.

One of his hands snakes up underneath my shirt, and caresses the bare skin of my stomach. As his hand creeps up further, I feel his thumb tickle the underside of my breast. "Bells." He sighs, huskily.

I turn around in his arms and look him in the eye. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you at First Beach." I say, running my hands along his chest. "Are you mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you, Bells. Especially when you look like this," his eyes rake over my outfit, "and when you're moving against me like that." I can see now that his eyes look heavy, lidded, and dark. The way he is looking at me is awakening something deep inside that I cannot explain. It's a primal feeling.

"But I did wait for you, a _very_ long time…" He nuzzles my neck. His hands slide down from under my shirt. One rests firmly on my hip, the other caresses my lower back. Slowly, his hand on my back dips lower, grazing my back side.

Each brush of his finger sends tingles through my body. I can feel my conscience slipping away.

I look up into his eyes and whisper seductively, "I want to make it up to you."

_Where did that come from?_

Maybe Jessica was right about the alcohol being liquid courage. With it coursing through my veins I feel freer, less constricted by these lies I've been telling everyone. With Jacob's arms around me, I feel stronger and more powerful. Capable. Confident. _Sexy_.

I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his face down toward me. "How do I make it up to you, Jake?"

He looks at me, his eyes even darker than before, and flashes me his signature grin. "Let's get out of here."

Jake is pulling me out of the house and to his car before I can even nod in agreement. He whisks me away to his car, which is parked far from the others. When we get closer, he slows down his pace, interlocking his fingers with mine. He turns me to face him so that I am walking backwards, looking down at me with a fierce expression, one I can only describe as hungry.

He slows to a walk, each step slower than the previous. With each stride he is pushing me where he wants me to go. He slows down even more, his steps becoming more sluggish as we reach our destination. I feel the cold metal against my back as Jake takes one final step and our bodies are flush against one another. He has me pinned; his car behind me and his hard, warm body in front of me.

Jacob's arm comes up by my head and the other cups my cheek gently. His lips come down to meet mine, softly pressing against them. It's not long before his grip on me grows stronger as he holds me to him, his kisses becoming more desperate. I notice my body arching into his as he leans down to kiss me.

He drops his arm to my waist and lowers it until he is caressing my thigh. His finger move roughly against the fabric of the jeans, pulling and clawing at the fabric that separates his fingers from my bare skin.

A new haze is settling over me. Gone is the dizziness and it's replaced with a feverish longing for what inevitably comes next.


End file.
